I didn’t spend Thanksgiving with my family this year.  Instead I chose to spend the day with friends.  We had a pretty traditional Thanksgiving meal and a wonderful and relaxing day.

But unlike the friends I celebrated with, my family isn’t far away.  They’re local.  Less than an hour away,

Well, I say “they” but there isn’t that much of a “they” left.  There’s my dad and one sibling and some cousins.   I should’ve gone and spent the day with them, but chose not to.

It wasn’t until I read this great post in Blogher, 14 Things this Single Gal is Thankful For, that I realized the real reason why.  Because, while my mom and dad eventually got to a point where they were OK with the choices I’ve made, the rest of my family isn’t. Isn’t OK with the choices I’ve made and the life I have.  One of my cousins once said to me, in the middle of a holiday meal (a few years ago) that I better start thinking about getting married because I wasn’t going to be fertile for too much longer.

Quite frankly, I just didn’t think I had it in me to sit through another one of those family meals where I get grilled and bullied and pitied.   I just wasn’t up to it.  So even though my dad wanted me to be there, I had to say no.

I feel pretty damn blessed that I had the love and support of my parents, even when it was conflicted.  I know they tried.  And I know that whatever pressure I did feel, it was minor compared to what other people get from their families.  I can only imagine what my life would have been like if I was born into a different part of my family.  Who knows, maybe I’d be a happier person today if I was pressured into getting married years ago?  I doubt it, but anything is possible.

Anyway, I’m thankful that I’ve been able to, day by day, figure out my own way.  That my parents weren’t there, every step of the way, putting up barriers.   And that I have friends to spend the holidays with.

I have a lot to be thankful for.  No doubt about that.  No list today.

AND I’m single.  And 39.  And that’s one of things I’m thankful for.

Because the life I’m leading right now:  starting over in my late 30s with a new career, meeting new people and being more social than I’ve been in years, that’s all connected to my being single.  And none of it would be happening if I wasn’t right where I am.  Single.  Living my life.  In this time and place.

Frequent readers of this blog have heard me use the phrase, “I don’t believe in much”, on several occasions.  And it’s true.  I am a firm disbeliever in most things.  But here’s one big thing I believe in:  It all works out in the end.  If it hasn’t worked out, it’s not the end.

My story, the story of me and dating and relationships, it’s nowhere near the end.  Now, I have no idea how it’s going to end.  Maybe the end looks a lot like now (me being single).  Or maybe it looks a lot different in some way that I can’t possibly imagine.  But I’m not going to know until I get there.

The point is, I’m thankful for the life I have now.  Truly thankful.

I wrote this post about a month ago, right around the time when everyone was trying to digest their Thanksgiving dinners.  I thought it might be interesting to dig it up and repost.

Dear Santa

Nov27

I am so not into the holidays. Not Thanksgiving or Xmas/Hanukkah (same difference). And I’m perfectly happy to forgo all of the traditions that go with them, including the gifts exchange. It’s just all so forced.

So needless to say I didn’t rush out to shop the Black Friday sales. I’d rather walk on broken glass.

However, I did take a few minutes to think up my own personal wish list and as usual, none of the things I want can be bought in stores.

Please oh please oh please can I start that healthy relationship sometime soon? I know that it’s going to take a lot of work from me. That I’m going to have to unlearn a lot of my old habits and learn some new ones. I’m totally game and completely ready.

And about the guy. I’ve already written about my needs and wants.Well, I have one more thing to add to the list. Just one. I’d like the guy to be someone I can be completely honest with. That means I can tell him about this blog (after we’re really comfortable with one another) and if he wants to he can read it and he’d be totally cool with it. Totally cool. And I could tell him about everything I’ve ever done and ever wanted to do (if it came up) and he’d be cool with that too. No fibbing.

The last thing on my wish list has nothing to do with men or sex or relationships. It belongs on this list, but not on this blog. I’ve been trying to ride the wave of a major career transition over the last year. It was my choice, I initiated it. And, of course, nothing has gone the way I thought it might. My wish is that things start to get a little easier. See, I’m not asking for a miracle. No big book contract or surprise benefactor. Just for things to get a little easier.

That’s it. Just those 3 little things. Zero dollar value on any of them. I don’t think it’s too much to ask for.

BTW, I have a date with The Freelancer tonight. Details as it happens on Twitter.

I figured what better way to say thank you again (for my readers who happen to be interested in the female body, that is) than to participate in one of the newer Thanksgiving traditions – HNT.

Hey, it’s Thursday. Check back tomorrow for a real post.