Today is my site’s turn to get more involved with the Blog Crawl.  There’s been a slight change of plans, as our guest author is Keysha Whitaker, instead of Terry Hernon MacDonald as originally scheduled.

“Do you want to go out with me?

The other day, as I walked towards the main doorway to my South Bronx hi-rise, (I like to make it sound glamorous every now and then), I passed a couple young boys, maybe around 12 years old, bouncing a basketball on the sidewalk.

As I got to the door, two girls of about the same age, pigtails flying, wearing bright colored sneakers, came flying through the lobby, bursting through the main entrance, huffing and puffing with excitement. They paused at the door; one eagerly crouching behind the other, yelled:

“She wants to know if you want to go out with her?!”

I glanced back at the boys; I’m not sure which one was the boyfriend-to-be.

The boys – in traditional fashion – gave the girls suspicious side-eyes, mumbled, laughed, and continued to bounce the ball.

Girl, if you’re not careful, you’ll be asking that question your whole life.

Hell, if I had a dollar for each time I wondered the intentions of a potential beau, I’d be living in a midtown-Manhattan hi-rise.

For some reason, females’, dare I say, obsession with being mated up starts at a young age, and if not checked can become an unhealthy adult habit.

Some months ago I wrote a post, if you have to have the talk, you should take a walk. I said essentially, if you have to corner a man and poke him with a stick to find out if he wants to go out with you, he probably doesn’t. If you have to run out of a building and scream it down the street, (metaphorically speaking of course, I know we have too much class for that), then maybe he doesn’t want to go out with you. I ripped a few pages right out of He’s Just Not That Into You and stapled them to my forehead.

So why was I, with the pages stapled to my damn head, always getting in situations with men where I had to turn into the little girl screaming, do you want to go out with me?

I had (hopefully not “have”) an uncanny knack for picking men who didn’t want to go out with me, right now – for various personal reasons valid or otherwise. In fact, I should write “He’s Just Not That Into You Right Now But He Will Be Once You Decide To Be Into Someone Else.”

I digress.

I do recognize that relationships are not black and white. Maybe there are out there, some shy men with good intentions, who sometimes do need poking with a stick.

I started SingleWomenRule.com because I wanted to encourage women to be comfortable with not poking, but rather focus on creating the life you want, and in the tradition of Terry’s book, attracting the best of all things to you.

And it may be true that more women are becoming comfortable with their singlehood.

A recent survey by Zoosk, an online dating platform, said that “women are more likely to celebrate their single status than are men. Nearly 70 percent of women cite the freedom to “do my own thing” and the ability to “flirt with anyone, anytime” as the best aspects of being single. Nearly half of men, however, responded that none of the benefits of being single outweigh their wish to find someone special.”

So maybe it’s likely that you will run into a man, who wants a relationship, and he might come right out and say ‘baby be mine’. Or maybe he won’t say it but show it, and you have to do a gentle poke.

Whatever you do, just be careful for the ones who will try to bite your hand off.”

I’m going to be participating in a blog crawl for National Singles’ Week.  The official press release is below:

Join millions of people as they crawl the web’s most popular blogs for singles, during the first SingleWomenRule.com’s Blog Crawl for National Singles Week.   In the virtual world, a blog crawl works like a pub crawl, or museum crawl in the real world; each day, you’ll visit a designated blog to read featured blog posts from our favorite voices in the singles community.

“The Blog Crawl is an excellent example of the strength and connectivity of the online singles community,” said Terry Hernon MacDonald of SingleWomenRule.com.  Hernon MacDonald, author of the e-book, How to Attract and Marry the Man of Your Dreams, co-founded SingleWomenRule.com last August.

Featured guest bloggers include Dr. Bella DePaulo, notable psychologist and author of Singled Out: How Singles Are Stereotyped, Stigmatized, and Ignored, and Still Live Happily Ever After; author of the novel The Divorce Party, Laura Dave; dating/relationship writer and author of The Real Reasons Men Commit, Kimberly Dawn Neumann, writer Simone Grant of Sex, Lies and Dating in the City, dating coach Ronnie Ann Ryan of NeverTooLate.biz, and Maryanne Comaroto, author of Hindsight: What You Need to Know Before You Drop Your Drawers.

“We hand-picked the guest bloggers and host blogs for their tenacious spirit and voice,” said Hernon MacDonald.  “Guiding readers from blog to blog in a crawl helps each blog build their readership, while bringing a fresh perspective and new audience via the guest bloggers, each day.”

The Blog Crawl begins on the first day of National Singles’ Week, Sunday, September 20, 2009.

“On Sunday, we’ll start our crawl with Kimberly Dawn Neumann on Vanessa Torres’ site, That Happened to Me.  Then on Monday, we’ll crawl over to Singlutionary for a guest post by writer Simone Grant,” said Hernon MacDonald.  “Each day of National Singles’ Week, we’ll get a great post from our guest bloggers, and an opportunity to read some different blogs for all aspects of single life.”

The Blog Crawl ends on Saturday, September 26, 2009 with Dr. DePaulo blogging on Onely.org.
Hernon-MacDonald said, “SingleWomenRule.com’s Blog Crawl 2009 is an innovative and exciting opportunity for the online singles community to show solidarity, strength and community during National Singles’ Week.”

SingleWomenRule.com’s Blog Crawl for National Singles Week
Sunday, September 20, 2009 – Saturday, September 26, 2009

Sunday, September 20, 2009
Kimberly Dawn Neumann on That Happened to Me

Monday, September 21, 2009
Simone Grant on Singlutionary

Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Ronnie Ann Ryan on Single Women Rule

Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Terry Hernon MacDonald on Sex, Lies and Dating in the City

Thursday, September 24, 2009
Maryanne Comaroto on Dating Advice Almost Daily

Friday, September 25, 2009
Laura Dave on Living Single

Saturday, September 26, 2009
Dr. Bella DePaulo on Onely