Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Just One

It’s one of those things I do that make me cringe. I know it’s wrong. A horrible habit. A betrayal of everything I believe in. And yet it’s so deeply ingrained in my feeble little brain…

When dining out , which I do pretty regularly, I can’t help but have the same conversation over and over.

Host or Hostess: “How many?”

Me: “Just one.”

Just one. JUST. ONE. I don’t know why I have to throw the just in there. Almost like an apology. I’m sorry, but it’s just me. 

I’ve promised myself I’ll stop. Drop the just. Say, “ONE” proudly. But that’s not what happens in practice. Bad habits die hard. Or maybe I do feel, deep down, like I need to apologize. Whatever the fuck.

THIS is what I was thinking as I’ve been reading these conversations on The Daily Dish and Salon about being alone and . Both worth reading.


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11 to “Just One”


  1. Ross Felix says:

    I lived in my apartment for years before I met my wife, and I was say that I ate out at restaurants about 85% of the time. I just took a book with me, sat down at the counter and just enjoyed myself.

    No reason you can’t eat alone, with or without a book.

    • Simone Grant says:

      No reason at all. It’s something I do quite often and have for years (though not 85% of the time!). Sometimes I don’t bother bringing a book… just people watch.

      And yet I can’t keep myself from saying “just one.” Weird.

  2. Fred says:

    Good for you. I haven’t been able to really do this yet. Maybe I need to try the book thing.

    • Simone Grant says:

      A bit of advice for an eating alone newbie (in the form of a story) – Many years ago I had to do a lot of travel for work. Lots of dining alone in strange cities. It was hard, at first. I eased into it by eating at the bar. It became my thing. It’s super-easy to eat at a bar, especially if there’s a game on and you like sports (which I do). You can eat, watch the game, talk to the bartender if you feel like it. And there are plenty of decent restaurants that have bars.

      The book thing is awesome, too. Though nowadays I just usually have my ipad. With kindle app.

  3. Rose says:

    I am married- but still eat out alone at times. Especially in smaller places, I also often say “just one” in a half apologetic way. This is not because I feel bad for dining out alone, but rather,as a fellow small business owner, I am more apologizing in advance for a small bill.

    Sometimes when a small purchase is made at my shop, the customer will often reply “just this today.”
    But the truth is all those small purchases add up by the end of the end– sometimes I will have a busy profitable day without selling one higher priced item!

    So whatever the reason– no need to qualify for “one”!

  4. Rose says:

    I am married- but still eat out alone at times. Especially in smaller places, I also often say “just one” in a half apologetic way. This is not because I feel bad for dining out alone, but rather,as a fellow small business owner, I am more apologizing in advance for a small bill.

    Sometimes when a small purchase is made at my shop, the customer will often reply “just this today.”
    But the truth is all those small purchases add up by the end of the day– sometimes I will have a busy profitable day without selling one higher priced item!

    So whatever the reason– no need to qualify for “one”!

  5. Most of the time I eat out alone. Although i feel the same way whenever the host/hostess asks me that question, I find it relaxing to eat alone while you watch people, how they do things, their reactions, etc. It makes me think and in some ways, inspire me.

  6. Nothing wrong with dining alone. I would far rather dine alone than with a complete f**kwit. Sometimes dining with one can make you feel all the mote lonely. Enjoy yourself! Please check out my website and feel free to contribute some of your thoughts, opinions stories and experiences to my new book Mr Wrong x

    dingdongitsmrwrong.WordPress.com

  7. dill says:

    its ok to be alone I dont mine it one bit im actully happyer that way call me crazy but I am. I like company but being along is not bad as u may think.

  8. Carrie says:

    I never did get to the “eating alone” goal when I was single. It’s just something I could never get the nerve to do, partly because I suffer from worrying about what other people think in general, so dining alone was sadly never an option for me. I did, however go on vacations (where I’d eat on-the-go or in my room) and to movies alone, so I certainly went out as “just one”! For me, I had always thought that I’d definately have to bring a book. It’s not about being “just one” for me, it was the staring I think I was afraid of.
    Carrie recently posted..Go On A Real Treasure Hunt!My Profile

  9. I think as we grow older we generally become more comfortable in our own skin and either dining out or going for a drink alone doesn’t feel so socially suicidal.