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Everything I Know about Love I’ve Learned from Watching The Bachelor

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And now for something completely different . Yeah, I’ve used that line before.

Today’s guest post is from Ellie Stevens. Ellie works for Senior Dating Websites where she writes articles about how seniors can date safely on the web.

Everything I Know about Love I’ve Learned from Watching The Bachelor

We are only a few episodes into another horrifyingly tear-ridden season of ABC’s hit show, The Bachelor, and despite the fact that we’ve seen the same emotional instability, helicopters and “the most shocking rose ceremony ever” on repeat for the past 16 seasons, we continue to watch and we continue to believe that maybe, just maybe one of these relationships will actually make it past the filming of After the Final Rose.  And maybe there could be hope for us to find love too…

Well as a single girl looking for ‘the one’ myself, here are a few things that I’ve learned about love just from tuning in to watch the train wreck that is The Bachelor unfold every Monday night:

Real love isn’t forced.  If signing up to a reality show with the goal of meeting a man and landing him as a husband in a matter of two months doesn’t sound forced then I don’t know what is.  Relationships should ignite and progress naturally over time while two people comfortably get to know one other by being themselves; relationships shouldn’t be marked by awkwardly rehearsed introductions or the exhaustion of trying to impress some guy in a suit.

Games have no place in dating.  When a relationship starts out as a game, someone is always bound to lose.  Like on The Bachelor, us single ladies in the real world often feel like we have to beat out all of the competition to score the prize— instead, the trick is to be confident in your awesomeness and trust that when you find the right guy for you, he won’t engage in petty-game playing or compare you to others (and you won’t have to worry about publicly humiliating yourself on national television after one too many flutes of champagne).

Dates don’t have to include helicopters to be great.  Every little girl dreams that her Prince Charming will whisk her away on luxury five-star dates that could only be made possible by ratings-hungry reality TV shows.  Unfortunately the cold, hard reality is that Chris Harrison can’t be everyone’s fairy godmother.  Regardless, we are tricked into thinking that’s how true romance should be—and so are the people on the show.  Then when they get back to the real world it’s like, “What?  There’s no million dollar firework display over this lame-o dinner that couldn’t be held on the highest peak in Fiji overlooking the crystal clear waters of the Pacific?!  This blows, I’m outta here!”  The truth is that when you have a real connection with someone, it shouldn’t matter where you are or what you are doing—all that matters is you are with the one you love.

‘Fantasy Suite’ invitations should only be accepted if you are in a monogamous relationship.  Sure, if there’s a candlelit dinner and a dreamboat of a man staring deep into your eyes offering you the key to spend the night with him in the ‘Fantasy Suite,’ it can be difficult to refuse.  Okay, in real life it’s most often a guy looking at you crossed-eyed on a bar-stool asking you to come check out his ‘crib’ after being over-served at some hole-in-the-wall sports bar.  But the point is, if you haven’t defined your relationship status with a man as exclusive, you mustn’t be tempted…he just may have 20 other girls to whom he plans on giving a tour of the ‘Fantasy Suite.’

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6 to “Everything I Know about Love I’ve Learned from Watching The Bachelor”

  1. MsC says:

    If I had a tropical island,helicopter and that beautiful location in Africa, and no responsibilities I could THINK I was in love too. But surely those people do not really think they will find the love of their life in a beautiful location in 2 months. if I were them I would play along and enjoy the ride/scenery.

  2. Serria Says…
    Oh but if that’s all you got from the Bachelor you are really missing some of the Golden Nuggets. Like for example, how do you make yourself stand out when you are in a room full of women who are just as hot or hotter than you. Or what’s the best way to greet a guy to make him feel good? How about, what not to do on a first encounter with someone and what not to talk about.

    I love that show because in real life if you are single, you are competing for the bachelor, it does not matter if you see the women…they are there. Men love that youthful, playful, confident personality and it doesn’t matter if you are 50, you can still have it.

    So if there is anything that you can take from a date, don’t take the superficial stuff. I’ve been on some amazing dates (cause when I was younger I dated rich fellas) but to be honest that didn’t make me fall in love with any of them.

    Watch that show, mimic one of the girls that he went out with on a first date (the ones he kept until the end) and I bet you have a successful date.

  3. Love Formula says:

    There are so many parts of dating shows that shouldn’t be part of real dating. They may be reality shows, but the reality of love is much more than that. There are some parts of dating that too human for those shows. Human pheromones, the undetectable smells that attract people come into play, realistic dates, not competing with a large number of others for one member of the opposite sex. Your post is very relevant, and you make points that are important to keep in mind.

  4. Mary J says:

    I like some sort of dating shows and think they might give something interesting for us. Very nice article with a up-to-day and useful information

  5. This is great advice about learning what not to believe about reality shows. These shows which millions of people watch make falling in love look easy but the reality is they aren’t all fairytales and the number of couples from episodes of The Bachelor that have been successful are very slim. It is okay to watch these shows just don’t get too sucked into believing this is how dating should look.

  6. Katie Martin says:

    I haven’t seen more than maybe two episodes of The Bachelor in all the seasons it has been airing, but even in those two episodes I could see what a disgrace to the idea of love the show really is. I mean, come on!!!
    But I appreciate the lessons and advice you took from the show. Instead of thinking what went wrong with the girls, you were right to point out that they are not put in a situation which promotes true and lasting love. They are put on a television show designed to impress people and get a large viewing audience. I hope there will come a time soon where women stop going on this show because they realize it is only there to make them a spectacle and not to actually find love.