So earlier today I got a call from one of my least favorite people on the planet, asking me for a favor. I’m one of those weird people who actually answers her phone (most of time) even when I don’t recognize the number.
This guy is an acquaintance who happens to be one of the most selfish, arrogant, manipulative people I’ve ever met. And he was asking me for a favor. 3 things:
1) Some people have no shame
2) I was as kind to him as I could force myself to be (even though I really wanted to just hang up) because I believe in being kind, whenever possible.
3) The whole situation reminded me of someone I used to know. A former friend who had no shame, who was always calling and asking for inappropriate favors. For instance, she called me the day of my mom’s funeral to ask me for advice on her love life. Because that was clearly more important than my mom’s funeral. Like I said, former friend.
Anyway, I never thought I’d tell this story here, but I think enough time has passed…
And sometimes (frequently) they want to get caught.
So for example, sending emails to your ‘boyfriend’ from your husband’s computer and then not logging off. That’s a sign that maybe you want to get caught. Talking to your ‘boyfriend’ (even in a whisper) while your mother-in-law is in the next room. That’s a sign that you might want to get caught. Showing up hours late, together/in the same car, to a work event with your ‘boyfriend.’ That’s a sign that you might want to get caught.
I have no idea why any person cheats. There are certainly plenty of studies that attempt to explain in. And I’ve had cheating friends attempt to explain their behavior to me (not that anyone owes me an explanation). But I still don’t get it. Never will.
Even more mystifying to me is why cheaters behave in ways that clearly demonstrate that they want to get caught, and then act surprised and horrified when it actually happens. None of it is smart or rational. Or anywhere near honest.
The only thing that makes sense to me, when I see people behaving like this is that they’re deeply unhappy. Unhappy and unable to admit it to themselves and to everyone else in their lives.
Anyway, it’s rainy and miserable in NYC and I find myself reflecting on shameless, miserable people. Go figure.
Tags: cheat, Cheating, liar