Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Silly Questions/Silly Answers

Life is full of silly . And even sillier answers.

Take this one, for instance:

Now, for those of you who don’t speak , let me translate. It was Friday, and on Fridays, some people like to give their friends shout outs (called #FF, which means “follow friday”, or literally = you should follow this person). It’s not a tradition I participate much in, because I think it’s been so overused as to constitute noise. But that’s just my humble opinion.

Anyway, my friend @GeriRosmanPR mentioned me along with a couple of other woman friends. And at the end of her tweet she asked THAT question. The one that always sets my blood to boil. In any context.

How are we single?!

Because, it’s assumed. Since we’re all cool, smart, funny and great… we SHOULDN’T be single.  Single is for people who are LESS than. Not cool, smart, funny or great. Grrr.

Anyway, I know she didn’t mean anything by it. It was a compliment and she was being silly. The way that we all are, sometimes.

But then…

The silly question was followed up by a silly answer. Now, just to get the silly storytelling clear (if that’s possible) I didn’t see the first tweet. Not then. I just saw Sarah’s reply. And I was confused as to why I was involved in a conversation that included, “I guess it is too easy to just say ‘because guys are dumb.'”

Confused and a little offended. Not seriously offended the way I’d be if someone said something racist or , but mildly offended the way I’d be if someone said The Smiths sucked.

I replied.

For clarification. That is how I feel, in a nutshell. Guys are not dumb. Some people are dumb. Some people are assholes. Some people are rude and insensitive. Men are people. So… some of them are likely to be dumb, assholes, rude and/or insensitive.  As are women.  It’s a part of the human condition.

Men do not have an exclusive on these things. I think I’ve always made my opinion on that clear.


There are plenty of sites that have a nonstop churn of posts about why either men or women are villains. Or victims. Or worse, who exploit a very shallow ‘conversation’ between the sexes. Mostly it’s just silly questions and silly answers.  Humans suck. We’re horrible to the people we love. Worse to the people we barely know. Except for when we’re not. It’s fucking complicated.

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11 to “Silly Questions/Silly Answers”

  1. I think you are single because you are smart enough not to get married to someone that wasn’t going to be a fit. While marriage is great – and a perfect social contract – it is not something that is a “goal,” nor should it be – at least in my opinion.
    I also don’t think you are opposed to the idea-
    So- that being said- you should take the statement as honorific and not pejorative.
    Just my two cents-

  2. nola says:

    Maybe you like to think all of it is complicated because it’s never been easy for you? A lot of people manage to get through their lives and keep the drama to a minimum.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Drama? Talk about comments that say more about the reader….
      Everyone’s life is different. And some people, I suppose, lead entirely quiet, unreflective and drama-free lives where all of their relationships (romantic and otherwise) are peaceful and drama-free 100% of the time. And some people watch Jersey Shore. I’m happy to not belong to either of those clubs.

  3. Pazintys says:

    “all guys ar dumb” – hate that. There are billion of people in the world. How they all can be the same? Someone needs to think more before saying that 😉

  4. Thoughts on being single in the city :) I love your blog,ps!

  5. Nikki B. says:

    Oh, man. I couldn’t agree more with you, here, Ms Grant.

    For me, the issue is of course the underlying gender references here (*obvi*). The idea that to be successful, women must be in a relationship. And, of course, that guys are just stupid. Or something. The entire dialogue makes me go ewwwwww….

    Not that these women are bad people – I certainly don’t blame them. It’s the mantra we’ve been effing telling ourselves and each other and hearing from the media and pop culture well, forever. Ugh.

    Regardless – thanks for being awesomsesauce and pointing it all out.
    Nikki B. recently posted..Project X: The definitions.My Profile

  6. This post just makes me want to draw a Venn diagram. (O_o). Nice work though.

    It’s human nature to pigeon hole and stereotype people. It makes things easier to picture instead of trying to comprehend the vast array of complex combinations of people. We all do it to some degree, not that that makes it okay.