Understatement. I’ve had a really crappy six weeks.
And although it makes me feel kinda queasy, I want to share the why behind it, in the hopes that some people can relate, identify, whatever. Because I know that sometimes I feel very alone in this shit.
As any regular reader of this blog knows, I’m not the healthiest kid on the block. I never have been. I was one of those kids who was taking everyday medicine from a pretty early age. BUT, I don’t have any fatal or potentially fatal diseases and for that I feel blessed. Whatever.
Anyway…anyone who’s ever dealt with any chronic illness or condition knows that doctors can only do so much. They can prescribe medicine for you to take, but not every medicine works for every person. And sometimes medicines randomly stop working. And, worse, sometimes medicines have horrible side effects. I’m gonna stop ya right there… I’ve spent literally thousands of dollars over the years on alternative remedies and have never stopped trying. You name it, I’ve tried it. Hell, you wouldn’t believe the things I’ve tried. Seriously, you WOULD NOT believe the things I’ve tried. Including all kinds of diets and what not.
So, that past 6 weeks. My doctor and I had a pow wow about me needing a new medicine because one of the ones I’ve been taking for the past decade doesn’t seem to work so well anymore and besides the side effects suck, and they seem to be getting worse every year. So she started me on something new.
I’ve had a rough 6 weeks.
The side effects were beyond bad. There were days I couldn’t, really couldn’t, get out of bed. Thank goodness for my friends.
My doctor tinkered with my dosage a few times, because the drug did show some promise. But we couldn’t make it work for me. I stopped being me. I couldn’t write. I couldn’t move. I couldn’t live my life.
I was back at the doctor yesterday. And I’m stopping the drug. Slowly. It’s going to take a couple weeks to slowly go off of it. And now I’m starting something else. Giving it a 6 week try. I have no hope that it will work. I’ve been on dozens (so many dozens that I couldn’t list them all if I tried) of drugs over the past few decades. Most don’t work. All I can hope for are minimal side effects.
So that’s it. That’s why I haven’t been around here, or twitter or facebook much. I’ve been doing what I can when I have a burst of energy. I’m hoping to be back to myself in a week or so. I know that there are many people out there that understand what I’m talking about. The endless trial and error of drugs and new drugs in the hopes of having a decent, functional life. It’s not a lot of fun. But we’re lucky to live in a time and place to have these resources. Or something like that.