Anyway, I was away for a few days. Not too far away. Just far enough to clear my head and get some perspective.
The first thing I noticed when I came home, other than that my apartment was a mess, is that is still looks like I just moved in. And it’s been a year. There are still some small boxes in the corners, and the TV is still unplugged and sitting on the ground.
It’s really pretty pathetic.
What’s most pathetic about it is that I would never, never ever, bring some new guy home to this shithole. I’d just die of embarrassment. So basically, I’ve been dating, on and off for the past year, but deep down inside there was a part of me that must have known that I wasn’t going to bring any of those guys home with me. Even after many dates.
WTF has been going on in my head?
So what now? Well, I actually bought some new furniture a few weeks ago. And it gets delivered in a couple of months. And… I guess I’m going to have to get my shit together and make this place a true home. Clean and paint and organize and stuff. Ask my friends for help with the things I suck at.
No more stalling.