So a funny thing happens when you’re my age and still single, well many funny things… One of those funny things is that there lots are people who assume you should “stop being so picky.” And that the reason I’m single is that I’ve been turning away perfectly good guys for random, frivolous reasons.
Oh, and these people will share these assumptions with you. Loudly. Speaking of which, loved this recent post on My Pixie Blog – What Not to Say to Your Single Friends, Like, Ever.
And, even more funny, although I consider myself a fairly strong-willed person who is pretty unlikely to buy into groupthink, I’ve started to internalize this a little bit. Just a little bit.
So sometimes when I’m looking at my online dating inbox I find myself doubting my own judgement. Like last night, for instance. It was the first time I’d checked in in over a week. In that time I’d received 4 notes from the same guy. He was
- A bit too old for me (and as I usually date older guys, that’s saying something).
- Much physically larger than I’m comfortable with, both taller and wider. I’m VERY petite and have found that I don’t feel comfortable (physically) around guys who are much more than 100 lbs heavier than me. This guy easily has 150 lbs on me.
- Lives more than an hour from the city.
- Spends much of his profile bragging about his professional success and material wealth. Ick.
- The kind of guy who sends 4 notes in one week to someone he’s never communicated with.
And yet I found myself sitting there parsing his notes, thinking that he seemed like a decent enough man and maybe I should write him back. Because…
He’s so clearly a bad fit for me. Age, values, whatever. And yet I was trying so desperately to convince myself that he wasn’t. Because, maybe I’ve just been too picky.
Anyway, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was being a moron. AND that I rather like NOT going on bad dates with inappropriate men. And even more, it’s been about a year or so since I’ve dated any one person, and it’s been a pretty good year. Sure, I’ve had some crappy health stuff. But work’s been kind of awesome, I’ve had some great times with friends, moved into my lovely new (jinxed) apt. Life is good.
Tags: apartment, online dating profiles, single