I won’t be seeing him again.
Because I’ve finally learned my lesson. Well.. this specific lesson. That, timing is everything. OK, maybe not everything. But a lot.
It’s something I’ve said before. Timing is everything. But saying something, and really living it are 2 different things. I could’ve saved myself a lot of time and heartache if I’d have fully acknowledged/lived this one earlier.
Sometimes you meet a cool person. And s/he seems like someone you’d like to get to know better. But you know s/he’s not ready to date. Or rather, to date anyone seriously. And you think, ok I’ll stick around and see what happens. So you date this person (this person who clearly isn’t ready – because of whatever baggage s/he has) in the hopes that s/he will be ready soon.
I’ve done it a few times. OK, more than a few. The just barely separated. The recently divorced. The grieving widower. Potentially awesome future boyfriends. But usually too caught up in whatever emotional baggage they’re dealing with to be a good partner in the present.
Nope. Not going to do it, ever again.
Having chosen to stick around (to see what happens, because they’ll eventually be ready) in the past I know that there would be days when said guy will be a total dick. Mean, selfish, careless with my feelings. And I know that even if I choose to be patient and giving, there’s really nothing I can do to speed up whatever he’s going though. He needs time to heal. To get over his shit. Maybe even time to have lots and lots of meaningless sex.
So, my date last week was with one of those guys. And I’ve decided that, for once, I’m going to trust what I know. And walk away. Quickly.
Of course. all of this may be bullshit. Maybe there’s no such thing as being ready. As being boyfriend material. Maybe I just don’t have the skills to help someone to move on. Maybe I’m just not girlfriend material. It’s certainly been said, many times before.
Tags: Baggage, boyfriend, first date, heartache, timing