Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Asshole Shields

Asshole Shields online dating  marilyn monroe cats eye 200x300You all know I’m old, right? Well, way back in the dark ages of the late 80s and early 90s it wasn’t all that cool for women to wear glasses. I mean, if you walked into a bar or club, you would see maybe 1 or 2 women in the whole place wearing them. As opposed to now, when lots of sexy people wear glasses.

Anyway, it was pretty much a given back then that “pretty girls” would wear contacts. And so, sometimes, I wouldn’t. In other words, sometimes I’d wear contacts and sometimes I’d wear glasses. Which is still the case.

Back then, I’d call my glasses my ‘ shields’ because chances were pretty high that no men would hit on me if I wore my glasses. Note: We’re talking a bunch of drunk, youngish people in cheap bars… everyone was getting hit on/hitting on someone.

Basically, glasses = not being bothered by guys when I just wanted to hang out with my friends. And they were very effective.

So why am I telling you this story. Well, a friend of mine pointed out that I needed an online dating asshole shield. Not using those words. You see, I’ve been getting some unwanted messages. Not just recently. Always. And not just the typical unwanted messages from guys who are too old/too young/just plain gross. But unwanted messages from types of guys that I’d never want to go out with (again). So my friend suggested adding things to my profile that would make them leave me alone.

An online dating asshole shield.

I can’t believe I never thought of that myself. Dummy.

So I looked over my profile and figured out what might be attracting the unwanted attention, and removed those bits. And then I added some things that might repel those very same people (for example, adding very geeky pop culture things to get rid of the high-brow snobs).

I hope this works. I know that online dating can work. But I’d like to spend less time poking through inappropriate messages in my inbox.


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12 to “Asshole Shields”


  1. jackie says:

    Magnets attract and simultaneously repel. Let’s hope your changes have this effect.

    JFB
    jackie recently posted..Black Boy in a White Land: Urban Safari and the Elephant in the Room*My Profile

  2. Once you have something showing how bright you are it will provide a perfect shield. It will also be a perfect attraction – because there is nothing more interesting than an intelligent person, and nothing sexier

  3. Jessica says:

    Haha, love it! I needed this today.
    Jessica recently posted..Fall transitionMy Profile

  4. PK says:

    funny, because i feel i get way more attention if i happen to be wearing glasses vs contacts, in a bar.

  5. Argent says:

    This is perfect. I’m in the process of revising my profile (when I’m courageous enough to put it back online) to contain NPD shields. When I figure out how to do it, I’ll let you know, but if you invent an asshole shield first, that might work as a decent enough filter. I know a patent guy, so we’ll get it patented for you. (snort!)

  6. Elilbitz says:

    There isn’t one. I sometimes wish for the old time match making clubs where the employees actually scanned profiles for you.
    No matter what I put in my profile…even such things as “Winks: Thanks, but if you are really interested, please message me. I don’t waste my time computer winking to men who send them out to the masses.” I still get winks. I state I don’t drink, yet get invitations to join men for a glass of wine… Point is, profiles aren’t read. They are skimmed. If they like your photo and whatever important stats the peruser holds important, that’s about as far as most get, unfortunately.

  7. Can’t wait to hear how this works out and the feedback you get :)
    Miss Melisa Mae recently posted..It Snot You, It’s MeMy Profile


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