So now that I’m feeling better (hooray for feeling better) I’m trying to get out and resume a life. You know, see people, do stuff. Yesterday I even went out to the movies (Captain America, it didn’t suck).
I decided to walk part of the way home, as I’d eaten way too much (ok, after the movies we took a detour to Crif Dogs, so WAY too much) during which time I listened to a bunch of cool podcasts. One of which was an old RadioLab short that was a meditation on death. Cheerful, I know. But it ended with a quote that got me running home to write.
The people who believe win, the skeptics lose.
They were talking about the afterlife. And the peace that comes with believing that there’s a better place waiting for you. Heaven or whatever you imagine an afterlife to be. But I couldn’t help thinking beyond that.
Let’s take an obvious example. My love life. Or lack thereof.
I’ve never been a believer. Never. Always been a skeptic. I’d like to think that that skepticism has served me well. It’s kept me from getting my heart squashed, more. From seeing love where it didn’t exist. From rushing in…
But it’s also likely kept people out. Kept my enthusiasm in check at times when it might have been nice to be enthusiastic. To fall head over heals. To crush and gush.
There is, from what I can tell, no cure to my skepticism. In much the same way that I can’t suddenly start to believe in god or the afterlife (nope, I don’t believe in those things, either) I can’t suddenly start seeing love everywhere. It would be like asking me to believe in unicorns. I just don’t.
I don’t think this makes me a bad person. It’s just who I am. And, I’ll admit, that I’m a little jealous of the people who walk through life with easy belief. In all things good and rosy. In love at first site, faithfully devoted to you and happily ever after. And unicorns.
Just a little.
Tags: bad person, faith, love, quote, sin, suck