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The People Who Believe Win, The Skeptics Lose

So now that I’m feeling better (hooray for feeling better) I’m trying to get out and resume a life. You  know, see people, do stuff. Yesterday I even went out to the movies (Captain America, it didn’t ).

I decided to walk part of the way home, as I’d eaten way too much (ok, after the movies we took a detour to Crif Dogs, so WAY too much) during which time I listened to a bunch of cool podcasts. One of which was an old RadioLab short that was a meditation on death. Cheerful, I know. But it ended with a that got me running home to write.

The people who believe win, the skeptics lose.

They were talking about the afterlife. And the peace that comes with believing that there’s a better place waiting for you. Heaven or whatever you imagine an afterlife to be. But I couldn’t help thinking beyond that.

Let’s take an obvious example. My life. Or lack thereof.

I’ve never been a believer. Never. Always been a skeptic. I’d like to think that that skepticism has served me well. It’s kept me from getting my heart squashed, more. From seeing love where it didn’t exist. From rushing in…

But it’s also likely kept people out. Kept my enthusiasm in check at times when it might have been nice to be enthusiastic. To fall head over heals. To crush and gush.

There is, from what I can tell, no cure to my skepticism. In much the same way that I can’t suddenly start to believe in god or the afterlife (nope, I don’t believe in those things, either) I can’t suddenly start seeing love everywhere. It would be like asking me to believe in unicorns. I just don’t.

I don’t think this makes me a . It’s just who I am. And, I’ll admit, that I’m a little jealous of the people who walk through life with easy belief. In all things good and rosy. In love at first site, faithfully devoted to you and happily ever after. And unicorns.

Just a little.

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19 to “The People Who Believe Win, The Skeptics Lose”

  1. Sandy says:

    I’m a little jealous of people who walk through life with easy belief, also. And I’m a believer. In love and god and a lot of other things (not unicorns). What I mean to say, I don’t know that belief is easy for most of us. Maybe it is at first, when you’re lucky or unlucky enough to meet someone young and fall in love (as I did), but it inevitably gets harder to believe as you get older, see more, realize that even great love is hard freaking work. Belief (in anything) is *always* tested. But maybe that’s just the skeptical believer in me and there really are people out there who waltz through life without a dose of it.
    Sandy recently posted..Things I’ve HeardMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      Those easy believers… they do seem to have it so, well, easy. Completely obvious to the world around them. But then again, what’s that quote about an unexamined life? Not worth living.
      Simone Grant recently posted..The People Who Believe Win, The Skeptics LoseMy Profile

      • Erica Wiens says:

        I find it way more difficult to be a believer than it is to be a skeptic. If you walk around believing things will work out and everything will turn out rainbows and kittens, you will likely be labeled an idiot. It’s much easier to say things won’t work out because, at least you weren’t wrong when they don’t. But, I also find that it’s pretty tough to make things work if you go in with the belief that they will fail. I guess you could call me a skeptical believer as well.

  2. matt says:

    I suppose I’m much more of a believer and definitely obvious of the skeptics. They never seem to be let down and never let things get to them. I wish I didnt wear my heart on my sleeve and I had a better poker face.

    Wish that I didn’t trust so easily. You’d think I’d have learned by now but just like you with skepticism, it’s in my nature to believe.

  3. They don’t win if they lose. Then they lose their faith, their hope, their belief, and it is all for nothing. I use to believe in the tooth fairy – then I realized it was the dentist who got the cash for the teeth.
    Somehow I think skeptics appreciate this life more – and love their loves better- because we know it can all end in a second, so we appreciate what we have. We work for it, we don’t accept it will happen, or it will maintain itself. We work to make a relationship happen- and sometimes we see it just isn’t worth it.
    Enough preaching from this skeptic.

    • Simone Grant says:

      I’d agree with that analyses. Anything worth having is worth fighting for and all that. But that doesn’t keep me from envying those that have it just a bit easier.

  4. Lojo says:

    Lately I’ve been pondering similar things. I am inherently skeptical, as well, and I live my life with a certain level of caution. Lately I’ve been wondering if this caution is inhibiting me from living my life to the fullest. What if I had exercised more risk in my educational path and my career life? What if I had exercised more risk in my relational life? What if I had simply believed? Had faith? It’s true that I have dodged certain messes, and certain hardships. But have I also missed out on love, and invaluable moments– a full life? Or am I on the path that I am meant to be on? Is that what I should have belief in?

    I’m glad I stumbled upon your blog. Thank for writing!
    Lojo recently posted..Life In My New CondoMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      I’m glad you stumbled by, too. The good thing about these moments of doubt is that they CAN drive us to action. I have spent countless hours (truly = countless) raking myself over the coals because of a moment in my life when I didn’t have faith in a relationship. Or maybe it was because the man in question wasn’t worthy of my faith. It took me a long time to cut myself some slack and figure out it was the latter. But also to realize that I need to be more willing to have faith in the future. If the situation deserves it.

      We live. We learn (hopefully). We grow.
      Simone Grant recently posted..The People Who Believe Win, The Skeptics LoseMy Profile

  5. NikkiB says:

    On the one hand, I think skepticism (or whatever) is a good thing. It’s not about not taking risks, but more about being realistic about things. I think, yes, it keeps you safe sometimes, but it also keeps your head out of the clouds. How many people do you know that have started “amazing!” relationships with “this is the one!”… only to have them self-destruct three weeks later? I, for one, don’t believe all those relationships were doomed to fail from the get-go, but I do think they way they were handled (head first) was part of the reason.

    On the other? I’m with you. I don’t know if I see “happily ever after with Prince/cess Charming” in my future. Not because woe-is-me! but rather because my standards are pretty freakin’ high. I’m skeptical about meeting some one who makes me swoon AND lives up to them.

    But you know what? I am ok with that. I’d rather know me, know what I’m looking for, know what I want… than be ready to fall over my own feet at the next person who winks my way. And, btw, I’m fairly certain I will be happily ever after… even without the Charming…
    NikkiB recently posted..Taking monogamy down a notch.My Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      Oh god yes. There are people who seem to meet ‘the one’ every few months. Or worse, try to force everyone to be ‘the one’.

      Happily ever might be a fairy tale. And it might just be another way of saying, ‘and it all worked out in the end (single, married or ran off to join the circus).’ Who the fuck knows.

  6. Lennie Ross says:

    I’m right there with ya sometimes girly, but I find that I can also stay positive as well. I’m a mature woman who focuses on my career, and so I feel that sometimes I’m losing out on finding love in life. But I’m certain that if I’m having that issue, there’s some really good career focused guys out there too having the same issue, and we just haven’t happened upon each other yet!

    Keep the faith :)

    Lennie Ross recently posted..I’ll Be Auditioning For The Role Of WifeMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      I don’t really see this as a positive vs negative thing. It fact, it really annoys me when skepticism is seen as a negative outlook. I can have hope, be positive AND be a skeptic.

  7. Chiara says:

    It’s easy to be a skeptic, booze just tastes better. We laugh at those who live and breathe naivety… but they’re always the bastards who win in the end. Why? Law of attraction.. Believing in something is reliant on our perception of things.. nothing more, nothing less.
    Chiara recently posted..Telling You How to Date a Friend of an ExMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      Ah, yes… the law of attraction. Something else I don’t believe in. Believing in heaven doesn’t make it so. It just gives you peace of mind. Which is nice, too.

  8. LiveeviL says:

    Skeptics are people who are out of many other things mixed up in a weird bowl of skepticism, on some level, afraid of being disappointed. You could name it cautious. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying skeptics are complete cowards running away from any possibility that something like God,flying spaghetti monster,creepy mexican lawn gnomes or love at first sight exist. They just don’t like putting all their hopes on something and then MAYBE end up with big fat nothing.It’s just that they have never experienced flying spaghetti monster falling in love the wary moment they had their eyes on a damnhotmuscularoutofthisworld mexican lawn gnome, and even if they had it would be a pain in the ass job believing that all credits for that is given to some holly force way above us like God or destiny. Even if it happened right in front of their eyes there would still be questioning, and with skeptics there will always be.No insult on religious people or extraterrestrial die hard believers. No insult to all of you believers. It’s just that, we skeptics(Yes, I admit of being one), can’t exclude the teeny tiny possibility of something not being what it’s believed by many, to be. Or that something might be wrong, or that bad things will happen. And we can never 100% relax and enjoy a relationship not having a little exclamation sign in the back of our heads.Blame it on our way of growing up, bad previous experience, we don’t really care.We are who we are.

    Skeptics don’t lose, believers don’t win.Believers go 100% enjoying something or believing in something and then 100% lose to something they enjoyed or believed in. Skeptics just choose to enjoy and believe less or not at all, and end up being less hurt.

    I know this sounds too simple and rough, but when taken down onto basics I think that’s what all the believers/not believers/skeptics/questioners(and all other names/synonyms) drama is all about.

  9. LiveeviL says:

    Oh, and by the way, I’m new around here. Loving your blog. Keep it up darling.

  10. LIZZY LEE says:

    I am also a skerptic, I find it hard to believe anything and everything which is said to me, like my boyfriend I feel sorry for him because he puts himself out there for me and has no doubt about our relationship but I on the other hand find myself not believing him nd see no future but try hard to imagine life with him nd he now thinks I don’t have faith in our relationship and that bothers me because I don’t wanna lose him because of my skerptism. I also wanna enjoy life to the fullest but I can’t cause I’m always questioning things nd I second guess people.