Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.


Life is full of misunderstandings.

Hell, talk about an understatement!

Not too long ago I listened, amused, as a much younger woman told a story of a man she kinda, sorta knew who made what she thought was a totally out of left field pass at her. She was shocked at what she thought was his completely inappropriate behavior. Shocked. And offended.

I was not shocked. The way she told the story, he’d been building up to it for hours. She just misinterpreted his actions as “friendly” as opposed to, “I wanna fuck you.”

Hey, it happens. You live, you learn.

I’m still learning. Lots of things.

Like about this . When I sit down to write, I pretty much write what I want to write. For the people who read me every day/most of the time. The people who send me emails, correspond with me on twitter. My audience. They/you are not huge. And you’re certainly not homogenous. You’re just a cool group of folks from around the world who found this random little site and find something worthwhile here. Worth coming back for.

Even when I’m off my game.

I know that other people find me. And that’s cool, too. That every day new people pop by. But sometimes I forget that the new folks aren’t in on the joke. That the shit I’m posting now bears no resemblance to stuff I wrote a year ago, when I was feeling good and dating… If you know what I mean?

Anyway, I’m babbling. It’s just that I’ve been feeling really conflicted, lately. I feel like I’ve drifted into writing about things that I never wanted to write about. To make so much more of ME public than I’m comfortable with. And now I get these totally weird and inappropriate messages from strangers that completely freak me out.

Misunderstandings. Ugh.



9 to “Misunderstandings…”

  1. Peker says:

    Well, I recently just discovered your site, and I spent hours reading old posts, and signed up for updates! I love your frank, honest tone, and it’s what keeps me coming back. I can relate to your highly personal posts much more than any online magazine articles. I may not know what specific events in your life are about, but your reflection on your emotions and reactions (and therefore, mine too!) is spot-on. So please keep it up! And thank you!

  2. Argent says:

    I’m with ya on the “off your game” and “misunderstandings” stuff. Whew! That’s been me for about 3 months now. My brain (and common sense) have been hiding and I’m not sure I’ve found them yet. What I want and what I’m getting seem to be at odds with one another. Maybe I need a life coach. Maybe I need to get laid. The latter is more likely.

    Yesterday and today, all day, I’ve been at odds with myself about life in general and dating in the specific. I’m about to shut down my dating profile for – oh – the 30th time (?) this year. I’m just not certain what it is about “I’d like a balanced, emotionally healthy, funny, kind, compassionate man to share my life with; cooking, laundry and housekeeping, optional” that causes my inbox to fill with emails that begin with:

    “Would you like to be a dungeon dominatrix?”

    Maybe I missed my calling? I wonder what I’d get if I said: “I want a fancy boy who wants to be collared, leashed and whipped…?”

    Off to read a book. Way more interesting than my email (or voice mail) these days.

  3. Jane says:

    I love to read what you write and I so totally get this. There are so many posts I start to write that end up too personal for me to post, but I keep them since they do often prove to be avenues to other ideas and themes that I am willing to write about publicly.

    I admire your openness and willingness to put yourself really out there.

    • Simone Grant says:

      There have been a few posts that I wrote and decided were too personal to share. And several that I shared and then regretted… But for the most part, I’m just trying to play it where it lays. Whatever that means.

  4. IntrigueMe says:

    I go back and forth a lot and confuse new readers too. Oh well, it’s just a part of it. Take the comments with a grain of salt!
    IntrigueMe recently posted..Re-Post: For Who He IsMy Profile

  5. City Girl says:

    Creepy or odd emails from strangers are always disconcerting. And, for what it’s worth, I enjoy whatever you write! xoxo
    City Girl recently posted..IMF (Interesting Male Friend)My Profile