Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Can’t Buy Me Love

I’ve been dipping my toes back into the online dating world lately, and DAMN it’s like nothing ever changes. I’ve been doing this for such a long time. SUCH. A. LONG. TIME. And still…

So what has me so ticked off today? It’s the boys with toys pics. That is, (grown) men who post pictures of themselves with expensive cars, boats, motorcycles and the like. They scream = I have expensive stuff and/or hobbies. Aren’t I a good catch?

To which I reply – delete.

Sorry guys, but I WILL hold it against you if you send me a message and your profile picture is of you standing next to an expensive sports car. I’ll read your message and maybe even your profile. But unless you’ve written something really mindblowing, I’ll likely delete. A picture is worth a thousand words and all that. And your picture is telling me something about your values and worldview (and what you think I’LL think is important).

Delete, delete, delete.

Anyway, this is something that’s been on my mind and annoying me (for years). And then, yesterday, Jezebel posts this story about a recent study showing that women seeking LTR’s aren’t interested in men in flashy cars, anyway. Sure, it was a small study. And they did prove that a porsche will likely get a guy laid (no shit, low hanging fruit and all). But it’s nice to have a little data to back up what should be blatantly obvious – that most woman are not completely shallow/looking for a mate with the shiniest, most expensive car.

Now if only we could get the men in onlinedatingland to understand this.




19 to “Can’t Buy Me Love”

  1. Pet says:

    So true! I got annoyed with the picture of the motorcycles and boats and porsche. One guy listed “taking long drives in my porsche” as a hobby. Delete.

  2. trininista says:

    God. Those photos and the ones of the guy taking a photo of his bare chested reflection with a smartphone – reallllllly burn my corns. lol.

  3. Mel says:

    I HATED that during my online dating phase! It seemed that every other guy’s likes were: job, car, working out. *yawn*
    I always read that to equal: BORING.

    By the by, if a guy had a picture taken with his bike (as in bicycle) or, say, in a kayak, THEN I would definitely be interested.

  4. stevesw says:

    I’m so glad I read this tonight, because I was seriously thinking about going out tomorrow morning to the nearest Porsche dealership, use my phone to take a picture of myself leaning on the hood (smug smile of course), and then rushing home to photoshop it with a chest borrowed from Men’s Health, so I could post it and snag a date for tomorrow night.

    • Simone Grant says:

      HA! So glad I could help. And PLEASE spread the word. I just got another couple of these over the weekend, so clearly there are LOTS of guys out there not hearing the message.

  5. Simone says:

    Guys still believe those with the biggest clubs (caveman comparison) wins the girl. LOL!

  6. LadyD says:

    Cars are nothing! I live in Seattle, and it’s ALWAYS the friggin’ pix of guys holding FISH – AAAAGGGHHH! Or on skis . . . Or standing by a river. With a BIG dog. S-N-O-R-E! =X-p

  7. what? I thought you loved my toys – oh wait, I don’t have a flashy car, or never mind. I know- its that shot of me when I won Mr. Universe (no, that didn’t happen). Damn – maybe you just like people who can express intelligence and hold an interesting conversation (not about themselves).

  8. Lisa says:

    agreed. And also agree w/ LadyD — fish (deer, other wildlife) dead in a photo with you is just gross and a guaranteed delete. Who wants to see that?! The dog (alive, not dead), though, might be a draw……

  9. Terry D says:

    K wait a minute here – I’m dying to buy a used jag xjs on account of I love cars and I love some cars more than others. I have caught fish including some very large ones that are good stories to tell. (the biggest one fed 34 people for lunch and it took me 6 hours to bring it alongside.) Serving it was as much fun as catching it. I have two cats and I like dogs but not in anything but farm country (city dogs = turnoff)
    BUT You don’t need to know what I drive until I pick you up for dinner after we’ve met for coffee and decided we’re workable as a couple. I’ll cook for you if you catch or buy it and don’t chew the hide to make a shirt and you don’t get to meet my cats unless you’re serious about spending the night. Having stipulated that, you only get my profile pic (cute enough but not model material for sure)and a great line of bs if I happen to be on that night (which happens but not always lol)- Thanks for playing

  10. But we love our cars :)
    I understand, it can really become tiresome and generic, people don’t spend a lot of time on their profiles and instead want to make instant impression.

  11. Cindy says:

    When will they learn that we are not interested in stuff or toys. Are we going to be datng the person or their stuff> You may have nice stuff but you maybe an a##hole.