Allow me to start today’s post with an embarrassing admission – as a person who’s been living alone for years, without a dishwasher, I sometimes leave dirty dishes in my sink overnight. Sometimes for more than one night. OK, frequently for more than a night. I know, gross.
I scrape off the food and rinse them off, as I’m placing them in the sink. But I frequently don’t bother washing them right away. And then I forget about them.
In other words, I’m kinda a slob.
But I live alone and my repulsive behavior doesn’t affect anyone but me. And I’d like to think I’d clean up my act if I was living with a significant other.
Which is where today’s post really starts. Recently I overheard someone talking about the end of a relationship, and the straw that broke the camel’s back was the fact that her partner was a slob. Well, he was a slob and despite the fact that she’d asked him repeatedly (for years) to clean up after himself, he didn’t. He continued to do things like leave half-full take-out containers in the living room (for her to trip over and clean up) and dirty pots and pans on the stove (I’m an admitted slob, but I would never do either of those things – ick).
It seems to me that the problem there is not the mess itself, but what the mess symbolizes: selfishness and an unwillingness to listen to a partner’s complaints.
I’d imagine we all do things that are completely selfish and, at first, drive our partners completely batty. Relationships live and die by our willingness to listen and compromise. To clean up our acts – literally and figuratively.
Of course, some of us are willing to live with our partners shit. I mean their worse habits. Without ever saying a word. It’s not that we don’t get pissed off. But instead of communicating our concerns we push those feelings down inside of us and let these simmer. Or maybe that’s just my issue?