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I Should Be Ashamed of Myself

I Should Be Ashamed of Myself online dating  online dating 1 300x204I’ve been an online dating lately. A total .

Several times in the past few months, I’ve poked my head into the online dating world, started conversations with men, and then dropped back out.

It was never my intention to end those conversations. Days would pass and I’d be thinking, I should really reply to so-and so. And then the next thing you know it was 4 or 5 or 7 days later and… I’d just blow it off.  It seemed too late.

I’m pretty disgusted with myself because I know how frustrating it is to have someone disappear mid-conversation. Super-frustrating. And the funny thing is, all of the guys in question seemed like potentially decent guys. I had no reason to not continue/not go out with any of them. Other than my being overwhelmed and completely ambivalent.

No excuses. I’ve been an asshole. I should probably get the energy together to send them all apologies. Just because it’s the right thing to do. More importantly, I really need to close out ALL of my online dating accounts if I’m not going to follow through and go out on dates. I don’t want to be one of those people.


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5 to “I Should Be Ashamed of Myself”


  1. Buddahkitty says:

    In my single days, I’ve done the same thing. I think I wasn’t really interested in dating anyone, I was just feeling lonely those particular days and wanted someone to talk to. I wasn’t really interested int he hassle of going out in the initial date. It was def an asshole thing to do. But I think in this day and age perfectly normal? Not sure, but it happens and they fulfilled what was at the moment just wanting someone to flirt with. Some guys ego’s are so super inflated that an apology will not be accepted. Don’t bother.

    Maybe next time a chat room will be better, that way mid conversation won’t be such a bad thing.

  2. nathan says:

    As a guy who has had this happen often, I appreciate this. In fact, I had a whole series of women basically disappear in the middle of normal, seemingly flowing e-mail exchanges a few months back, which made me pull back from online dating for the most part. I think part of the challenge is that it’s so easy to set up a profile and send people a few e-mails. You can be ambivalent about dating, just wanting to flirt, confused about what you want in your life, etc. and still do online dating.

    I know there were times in the past when I have had a profile up, but really was in no place to date anyone. I even went on a few dates during those periods, and kind of felt bad afterwards. Because even though I didn’t talk about an Ex, it was clear to me as those dates were happening that I wasn’t over that Ex.

    So, I really try and clean up my “house” before starting to date these days.
    nathan recently posted..Gay Marriage- A Conservative Response to Conservative BigotryMy Profile

  3. Yvi says:

    I did this quite a bit during my online dating days. You’re talking to one guy and then life gets busy with work, family, etc. Next thing you know, 7 days have gone by and you start to think that it would just be strange to respond now. I found that most guys don’t seem to mind if a girl waits a few days to get back to them…they just want a girl to get back to them at some point.
    Yvi recently posted..Six Ways to Know if a Man is Using You…My Profile

  4. Judah says:

    When a women doesnt respond to me I just take the hint for what it is…Sometimes people loose interest. It’s only human. I have met some really great women but something was lacking and I didn’t know what it was. But other times I cant stop texting, calling, ect.
    Judah recently posted..Mood Music Moment- Take Off Your CoolMy Profile

  5. Loverville says:

    What timing, to come across this. I recently went out with a guy with whom I had started communication about a year ago — I didn’t realize it at the time, but I was the one who dropped the ball, and stopped emailing him (must have been when I met someone I was crazy about, and just stopped logging onto Match).

    Just recently, a year later, I was going through my old emails, and came across our exchange, and started writing to him again. When we met, I apologized for dropping the ball a year ago — he felt that it didn’t really matter, since we were only in the email phase – I tried to explain that I was generally more polite than that, but his feeling was: til you’ve met the person, you don’t really owe them anything.

    I don’t agree, but anyway — there you have it.

    ~ LV
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