I have this weird habit. When I overhear someone say something interesting, I text it to myself. So that I’ll remember. The results of which is a bizarre, completely nonsensical text conversation with myself, full of random snippets of other people’s conversations.
Some of it is funny. And some it is seems like it could maybe be meaningful. But most of it seems like I misheard or mistyped it because it makes no sense at all.
Sometime last month I texted, People want you to be who they think you are. I don’t remember where I heard it, or the context in which it was said. But I keep on going back to it, because it seems to hold some kind of meaning.
Identity is a tricky thing. Especially in this bizarro online world, but even in real life. We are all many people. Friends, children, lovers, workers… and different people see us through different lenses.
People want you to be who they think you are. I think of the straightjacket we all wear when we try to live up to (or down to) the expectations of the people in our lives. We waste so much energy trying to be who they want us to be and act the way they want us to act.
I’ll admit that I have never been good at shaking free of this stuff. Of telling people to fuck off. Instead, I’ve spent much of my life trying to please others. My family, people at work, men… Maybe even you, my readers. It’s just something that I do, as second nature. Try to be the person that people think I am (or want me to be).
I think maybe it’s time I learn to try not to. To just be.
Tags: crazy, text