I was on a date. A first date. With a guy I met online. From the moment we met, he looked vaguely familiar. Not from his photos, but as if we’d met before. He looked like his photos. But he didn’t seem familiar in the photos. Go figure.
It hit me about 15 minutes in. After we’d been talking for a while and I heard more about his life, background, etc. He said something that made it all click. We’d met before. More than that. We were casual acquaintances from over 15 years earlier. But there was no way in hell I was going to say anything about it to him.
Way back in my mid 20s, he was dating a friend of mine. Needless to say, we were both very different people then.
I don’t want to get into the nitty-gritty, but let’s just say he wasn’t a good guy back then. NOT. A. GOOD. GUY. In fact, last I’d heard of him, he’d gone into rehab, left and then disappeared. Or something like that.
Anyway, so there we were on our date. Our first date. And I’m 99.99999% sure that this is the same guy. But I didn’t feel comfortable asking him about it. Because, well, who wants to be reminded of what was probably the very worst time in their life, years later? He was presenting himself as a totally different guy, now.
Successful. With his shit together.
It would have been rude of me, at the very least, to ask him about his ugly past.
So I didn’t.
We also didn’t have a second date. Even though he asked. For a few reasons, but mainly because I couldn’t get past my very unpleasant memories of who he used to be. It would have been different if he had disclosed that he had past issues with addiction. Which he didn’t. Or if he wasn’t drinking on our date. Which he WAS.
This happened last year, and I still think of it and him, occasionally. I wonder if I did the right thing. Maybe I should have said something? Maybe I should have gone out with him again, and said something on the next date? Or maybe I was smart to walk away when I did.
Tags: first date, hell, Online dating, second date