Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Team in Dating

I’ve been slacking on weekends, I know. But I have a fab new Guy’s Story for you to make up for it.  Today’s story is from SFSingleGuy, the author of the blog’s very first Guy’s Story.

Team in Dating

“Hi!”, said her message in my inbox.  Attractive, brainy, and rides bikes.  That was a good start, but I have to admit that the one word introductions always present a red flag in my view.  I had been on over two dozen first dates so far this year.  A few were good matches, but I let them get away for some reason.  A couple crazies as usual, and a few that I just wasn’t interested in.  Being picky means having to be patient also.

I wrote her back asking about a cycling event she was doing in several months.  This was no beginner event, so that impressed me.  She sent me an email back that had a link to her Team in Training site, and the organization where she worked.  She mentioned that I could donate to her fundraising efforts, and pass the link onto my friends.

What.  The.  Frack.

Let me preface that reaction by saying that about a month earlier, I had been approached by another girl on OkCupid, who didn’t really have a profile setup.  She was somewhat attractive, and ended up giving me her email.  We exchanged a couple of emails, and she gave me her phone number.  I called her a couple days later.

She was a realtor, and mentioned off the bat that we had a friend in common that she found on .  That means that she stalked me from my email address.  She asked where I lived, and asked if I rented or owned, then went into a five minute spiel about how it was a good time to buy a place.  Yes, I was getting pitched by a realtor from a dating site.  I chuckled at the realization, then felt like a sucker for a minute, then thought the real estate market must be bad if she is approaching guys on OkCupid for buyers.

Back to the other girl.  I checked out the links she sent me, and tried to figure out if I was getting played here.  I emailed her back about a ride I was doing in a couple months, and she responded positively (to quote, “You’re awesome”).  I decided to press her and see if she was interested in me, or just trying to get a donation.  I asked her out for a drink, she gave a wavering response, saying how she could, but her training might make it difficult, and asked me if I had a Thursday free.

I decided to wait a couple days until Monday to figure out if I did have a free Thursday coming up.  When I logged back onto OkCupid, her profile had been deleted.  Or she blocked me; I don’t know which, and I wasn’t too motivated to ask a friend to see if her profile was still active and it was just blocked to me.  That might seem odd to think of doing that, but I do believe that people do this more often than not; running a search on dates, having friends checkout their profile.  Weeds out the crazies.

Sitting here writing this, I realized that about four years ago, I had been approached by a girl on another dating site who was in Team in Training, and she used the same “Hi!” greeting.  Now I started to get paranoid – was this part of the fundraising training?  Sign up for a dating site, and hit up guys to contribute to their fundraising efforts?  I had the same thing happen to me on Facebook with another TNT member.  I searched the web to see if this was a standard issue tactic, but found nothing. Paranoid?  Maybe.  But if there was a tactic like this I figured that it wouldn’t be sitting around for guys like me to find in a web search.

I still debate whether or not I was the target of a fundraising effort, or geniune romantic interest.  I’m pretty sure though, that if she were to send that link out to a dozen guys on a dating site, she would probably get four or five donations from guys who wanted a date.

As fate would have it, someone in my cycling club had a ticket for sale for the popular event she was doing in a couple months (it was sold out).  I didn’t hesitate, I bought the ticket right away.  Odds are that I won’t run into her at the event, and we probably wouldn’t recognize each other, not having met in person.  Or maybe we will, in which case I’ll probably have to put all this training to use and ride away as fast as I can.  If she was only after my money, I don’t want to know, and if she was interested in me, but cut and ran because of something I said, I probably don’t want to know that either.  We’ll see what fate holds.  And the next TNT member who approaches me on a dating site will be dealing with a tougher sell here.


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2 to “Team in Dating”

  1. twodrink says:

    If anything, you definitely got a great story out of the entire ordeal. I’m on the OKC as well, but haven’t encountered any men trying to scam me for my money. However, tons of other creepsters fill my inbox daily. Sigh.
    twodrink recently posted..Date 1- Metro with a capital “M”My Profile

  2. Yes, there are a lot of scammers and creepsters all right. I use online dating often, it’s a real time saver, but you can never be too cautious.