Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

I Vant to be Alone

So I was talking with a friend of a friend about a trip I took a few years ago. I took “off” for a month and took a trip I’d been dreaming about for years.

There’s a nice little story I tell about where I went, and what inspired me to go. What I got out of the trip… But it’s all a load of shit. Well, mostly. The truth is, I’d just had my heart broken and needed to get as far away from my life as possible.

I thought that if I ran away, far, far away, that maybe it would hurt less and heal faster.

It didn’t work.

Not even a little bit. Or maybe it did. Maybe it would have been worse if I’d stayed at home?  Who knows.

The thing is, that’s pretty much always my instinct with .  To run.  To get some distance in between me and the in question.  To make it really hard for us to communicate.  And absolutely impossible to see each other.  Over is over.

But it’s more than that.  I tend to isolate myself. To go off on my own.  Someplace isolated or isolating. So that I won’t sit around all day and moan about the guy in question.  Because I want that part to be over, too. The regret and the anger and the self-recriminations.  All of it.

Thinking back, now (you’ll have to forgive me, I’m in a thinking back kind of mood this month) I’m starting to wonder if by running away I made things worse. I just put off the inevitable.  Dealing with crap that needed to be dealt with.

Whatever. It was a freakin awesome trip.

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4 to “I Vant to be Alone”

  1. Lennie Ross says:

    I totally feel you, I was talking to my girlfriend the other day about how stressed I was and about how bad I just wanted to get away, but then I looked at my calendar for next week… :/ Not that my heart was broken, just the grind of life, but hey!

    I’m taking a trip next month :)

    Lennie Ross
    Lennie Ross recently posted..Wine and the Single Girl- Que Syrah- ShirazMy Profile

  2. NtYtCrzyCatLdy says:

    Yep. Same thing this last month. Heartbreaking event on Easter Sunday and by the next Sunday I’d run away to the beaches of Mexico. But you always have to come back home and “it” is always still waiting there for you to deal with. Was I in a better frame of mind to deal with it after the break? Maybe. Though hurt was still too fresh. I had a good time; but I put it out of my mind while I was there and that was the mistake. I should have just put on my big girl panties and just dealt with it.

  3. Kim says:

    I’m the exact same way. After a break up I run away. Far, far away and isolate. I stay in isolation even after I return home. I usually crochet a lot just to keep my mind focused on something other than having another “Jerk notch” under my belt.

    Thanks just the way I deal with it..

  4. Dazediva says:

    I’ve always been good with dealing with break-ups; until I met the man who made me run away .. from everything. He broke up with me after 1.5 year, within 2 weeks I was off on a girls trip to Italy; then immediately hit NY & Boston for 5 weeks; came back and cut off all contact. Then I met someone else, who seemed to adore me, but by then I had started making plans to move out of the country. That’s how much it hurt to be in the same place. It sucks that someone is able to have that kind of effect on another person. =(
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