I have no idea what made me think of him, now, but… the mind works in weird ways. I used to know this guy. It’s been over a decade since he left the city, and years since we lost touch. I think he might be living outside the US somewhere. None of which is relevant.
I have a very distinct memory of the night we met. It was at a party. A fairly large one. At an art gallery. We were introduced by a mutual friend and he started to flirt with me.
At which point, I think I actually rolled my eyes at him.
Whether or not I rolled my eyes at him, I made it clear from the start, that I wasn’t interested in flirting. And that he’d have to find some other means of communicating with me. Which was unusual for him. This was a guy who flirted with everyone. Every woman, young or old.
Even, to a certain extent, all of men. He just had that kind of vibe, if you know what I mean.
I took to saying that he was such a flirt, he even flirted with the furniture. Flirting was basically his primary mode of communication.
I wasn’t having any of it. By the time we met, I was already in my late 20s, and fairly jaded. And while he was(and I’m sure still is) an incredibly handsome man, I wasn’t sufficiently impressed with his smile and charm to giggle like a school girl when he poured it on. So instead of us having a purely superficial interaction, we actually talked. About real-ish stuff. Work and life and the stuff that you think is important when you’re in your late 20s. And, over time, got to know each other.
I later realized that the smile and charm thing wasn’t all it was cracked up to be. Yes, he got his way with a lot of people. And he got laid, a lot. But there were plenty of people who just wouldn’t take him seriously. He was a smart, ambitious man and a lot of people just wrote him off as a dumb, pretty boy. Which, I gotta imagine, had to suck.
Anyway… I’ve been reading a lot of tweets lately about flirting. It seems like every 5 minutes there’s someone else offering advice on How to Flirt or the Importance of Flirting. Maybe that’s why he came to mind. Every time I see one of these I think, Really?
This is the great crisis of 2011 – people need help with flirting? OK, I get it. There are plenty of shy people out there. Fearful.
I’ve always thought that flirting was the easy part. A smile and a hello. Perhaps a compliment or some nonsensical small talk. Easy, breezy, and quickly over. It’s the talking, having real conversations and relationships with people, that take effort.
Tags: flirting, guy