I got a call from a friend asking me if I could take the afternoon off, one day later in the week. She needed someone to go with her to the doctor. I said, yes, of course. But I was wondering, as I said it, why she was asking me. Why her husband wouldn’t be going with her.
And then she explained that she’d be having an abortion. And that she wasn’t telling her husband.
They already had 2 beautiful, healthy children. Both under the age of 5. And both she and her husband had full-time, stressful jobs. They were struggling.
The challenges of being a wife and mother were hard for her, and she’d been in therapy for the past year. And they’d also been in and out of marriage counseling. She couldn’t cope with another child.
So I took that afternoon off and met her at the doctor’s office. A very pleasant place on the Upper East Side. And afterward we went for coffee, killing time until she had to pick up her kids from day care. I never interrogated her. Never asked why I was there instead of her husband. Never asked her if she was planning to tell him.
I was her friend. She asked for my help and my support. Not my judgment.
So, why am I telling this story now? Warning, I’m about to get preachy and political. Well, contrary to what most people think of when they think of abortion, my friend’s story is probably pretty typical. Almost 1 out of 3 women in the US have an abortion before the age of 45. The majority of them are already mothers. Women who understand, fully, what they are doing. For more facts, watch..
I’ve tweeted and facebooked about this in the past day, but woke up thinking that I needed to do more. To try harder to get people to pay attention. Even if it meant standing in the center of a shitstorm. For those of you who haven’t heard, the House passed HR3, a bill they disingenuously call the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act.”
There is no taxpayer funding for abortion in this country and hasn’t been since the Hyde Amendment in the 70s. What this bill will do, effectively, is pull all PRIVATE insurance coverage of abortion, as any plan that covers abortion will lose their tax credits. In other words, they’re just making it even harder for women who need and want abortions to have them. Not to mention also making it legal to deny life-saving care to pregnant women if it would require terminating the fetus.
So, I scrapped my planned post for today so that I could write about this here, too. Because I’m so utterly disgusted. I know this has little chance of passing in the Senate. But I’m disgusted nonetheless.
Tags: abortion, marriage, Women