Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The futility of reasoning with crazy

I stole today’s title. I was reading Salon and saw an article with this title and damn, I just had to steal it (that’s all I’m stealing, here, I promise).

The idea/phrase, ‘the futility of reasoning with ’ just seemed the perfect way to sum up some of my about and relationships. And to help me tell a story I’ve been wanting to tell.

I was talking with this guy, a while ago. He’s one of those people who considers himself an “ on dating and relationships (notice the italics and quotation marks). We’d just met and based on a couple things he’d said, I knew didn’t know a thing about me/had never looked at the blog. I should probably mention that I wasn’t AT ALL asking for his advice. Rather, we were talking and I was (foolishly) letting him be aggressively nosy.

At some point, in response to one of his questions, I mentioned that I have (more than once) tried to mend things with . That, in the past, I’ve been really into giving guys second chances. And third chances. And 10th chances.

Anyway, this guy, the relationship expert dude, jumped down my throat. He seemed very happy to point out how illogical it was to get back with someone who had repeatedly disappointed me.

I don’t think he was wrong, BTW. It is illogical to try to get back with someone who has repeatedly disappointed you. The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results, or something like that.

But you can’t reason with crazy. And love is, as far as I’m concerned, a kind of crazy. Maybe it shouldn’t be. Maybe it’s only an unhealthy kind of love that’s crazy.  IDK. But, for me, love has always been a kind of crazy. Completely devoid of logic, makes you do dumbass things, has you looking back years later in shame CRAZY.

And, you can’t reason with crazy.

I guess there are people who never fall crazy in love. Who’re always logical about their relationships. Smart and cautious, too. All that good stuff.

But you know what, I kinda feel sorry for them.

I’ll take my crazy, my illogical behavior, and even my tears. I’m not romanticizing the dysfunction of some of my previous behavior/relationships. I’ve made mistakes and hopefully I’ve learned from them.  But I know that next time I fall in love (if I’m lucky enough for there to be a next time) I’ll make new mistakes. Go crazy all over again, in some new way. That’s just the way it goes.

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1 to “The futility of reasoning with crazy”

  1. Dennis Hong says:

    I’m paraphrasing AA here, but I think the first step to accepting that we’re human is admitting that we’re all just a little crazy.
    Dennis Hong recently posted..I Never Thought I Would Lose My Job- Part 1My Profile