As I mentioned last week, I actually have people who write to me and ask my advice. Which is kinda shocking, because I’d never ask my advice about anything. Believe me, I live in my head 24/7 and there’s all kind of scary things floating up there.
However, I do know some very smart people. People I’d take advice from. So why not do a weekly/occasional (we’ll see how this goes) feature where I match people who need advice with people who give great advice.
Well, I think it’s an awesome idea. So without further ado…
This week’s question is a paraphrase of a rather long-ish email that came to me earlier in the month.
It’s a common enough issue. Facebook is the devil.
So I asked a couple of the very smart people I know and here is what they had to say:
First up, author and love stylist Tristan Coopersmith:
Consider that “thing” a pink flag, for now. As you continue to interact with him, pay attention to the concern to determine if it is real, imagined or just your way of trying to sabotage the relationship. If it’s real, it will turn red pretty fast!
Next is Jack from Brooklyn:
In Nascar, a red flag is waved when those officiating deem driving conditions too dangerous to continue. ”Too dangerous” to men driving super-cars at speeds in excess of two hundred miles an hour. When a red flag is waved, the race is over. If you think you’ve seen a red flag, pull over and come to a complete stop as soon as possible until you can determine for certain it’s safe to proceed. How does one determine this? Ask an honest and direct question addressing your concern. It doesn’t need to be confrontational but you need to pay attention with your whole person to make sure you hear what’s being said. As Maya Angelou said, “when people tell you who they are, listen.”
So, what do you think?
Got a question?
A better suggestion for a title (please)?
Tags: advice, dating advice, facebook, red flag, Smart