Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Smart Advice from People Who Know Their Sh*t (working title)

Smart Advice from People Who Know Their Sh*t (working title) datingadvice  Dear Abby 300x136Still working on this title.  This one was a reader suggestion.

As I mentioned last week, I actually have people who write to me and ask my . Which is kinda shocking, because I’d never ask my about anything. Believe me, I live in my head 24/7 and there’s all kind of scary things floating up there.

However, I do know some very people. People I’d take advice from. So why not do a weekly/occasional (we’ll see how this goes) feature where I match people who need advice with people who give great advice.

Well, I think it’s an awesome idea. So without further ado…

This week’s question is a paraphrase of a rather long-ish email that came to me earlier in the month.

So I’ve gone out with someone a couple of times. I like him enough. But then found something out about him that seems like a (damn you, ).  What’s the smart way to proceed?”

It’s a common enough issue. Facebook is the devil.

So I asked a couple of the very smart people I know and here is what they had to say:

First up, author and love stylist Tristan Coopersmith:

Consider that “thing” a pink flag, for now. As you continue to interact with him, pay attention to the concern to determine if it is real, imagined or just your way of trying to sabotage the relationship. If it’s real, it will turn red pretty fast!

Next is Jack from Brooklyn:

In Nascar, a red flag is waved when those officiating deem driving conditions too dangerous to continue.  ”Too dangerous” to men driving super-cars at speeds in excess of two hundred miles an hour.  When a red flag is waved, the race is over. If you think you’ve seen a red flag, pull over and come to a complete stop as soon as possible until you can determine for certain it’s safe to proceed. How does one determine this? Ask an honest and direct question addressing your concern. It doesn’t need to be confrontational but you need to pay attention with your whole person to make sure you hear what’s being said. As Maya Angelou said, “when people tell you who they are, listen.”

So, what do you think?

Got a question?

A better suggestion for a title (please)?


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4 to “Smart Advice from People Who Know Their Sh*t (working title)”


  1. Faolan Riley says:

    Facebook is indeed the devil. All I have seen from Facebook is failed relationships and scary stalkers. As for a title…I like this title its straightforward enough.
    Faolan Riley recently posted..How can I Get my Ex Back with a Confident AttitudeMy Profile

  2. Lhr says:

    Advice from those who have been there

  3. Sam says:

    I like Jack’s answer. Ask about it. It may save you heartache in the long run!

  4. LOL The working title sounds a bit familiar… use it twice, you own it :-)
    Rufus Shepherd recently posted..In the middleMy Profile