Recently, the lovely and talented Taylor Cast wrote a post for The Urban Dater called, You want me to do what!? Sexual Fetishes. In it she details the demise of a promising new-ish relationship when the guy she was seeing shared a very specific and ultra-kinky fetish that was beyond her comfort zone.
Which got me to thinking…
I’ve been there. Yes, there, actually in almost the exact same place. Saying, gee you’re really great and I hope we can be friends but there’s no way in hell I’m going to do that.
And I’m guessing that Taylor and I are not the only ones. I’m guessing that this is actually not that rare of an occasion?
So here’s my question (you knew there was a question coming): Assume you’ve met some wonderful new man/woman, and they have a fetish. Would you prefer they tell you about it right away, before you get to know them? Or would you rather get to know them pretty well, and then learn about the fetish?
Having been there, I absolutely positively would want to know right away. Maybe not on the first date (as that would just freak me out) but certainly before we ever got naked together. I wouldn’t want to be lulled into a false sense of knowing him, only to learn somewhere down the line that he was essentially pretending to be someone he wasn’t/hiding a big part of his identity. Plus, I wouldn’t want to get emotionally attached to some guy only to learn about his fetish and find out that we’re absolutely not compatible.
The logic on the flip side, I suppose, is that the guy in question is hoping that if you like/love him enough you’ll be game for just about anything. But there are limits to just how GGG a person can be expected to be?
So, would you want to know early on, or have him/her wait til you know each other well/had a strong relationship in place? Thoughts?
Tags: date, GGG, kinky, sex