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I Heart Black Men

I Heart Black Men guest posts a guys story  Hands 300x199I’m so excited about this week’s Guy’s Story from Totally Tyler. You should totally go check out his blog!

I Heart Black Men

Anyone who knows me will tell you I am attracted to black men. Don’t ask me why. Not to generalize, but maybe it’s the suave swagger. Maybe it’s the skin color. Beyond that, I just don’t know.

I know what you are thinking: I must like black men because I like big dicks. You are probably thinking that I’m so black-cock crazy that I would suck a black dick through a fence, but that’s just not true. I’m not lying around conjuring up Mandingo fantasies of a black man with a big dick bouncin’ up against his bare chest as he runs through the jungle, that’s for sure. I’m not a size queen. In fact, when I see a big dick I feel like I have to act all impressed.  ”Oh, wow,” I say in a robotic monotone voice. “Whatever do you plan to do with that?”

So whatever the reason, I’ve grown to accept that I like me some black men. I’ve tried to date white men but it never seems to work out. The last time I dated a white guy, he flinched like an abused dog when I went to hug him and he told me he thought I acted too “niggerish”.


I’ve dated a few Asians as well, but the ones I dated ate a lot of raw foods and used their teeth too much when they gave head.

So, my point is, I’m open to dating guys of other races, but I’m primarily attracted to black men. I can’t help whom I’m attracted to, can I? So why not just go with the flow? I’ve never questioned it much until recently, over cocktails, a close black friend offered some advice: “You’d find a guy that would treat you right if you stopped dating black men.”

Homo say what?

If black men are so problematic, why does my Close Black Friend only date black men? And is my Close Black Friend treating his boyfriend right?

While on a date, an Older Black Man recently told me he wanted to settle down with a white boy. “Why does it have to be a white guy?” I wondered out loud.

“Everyone knows that if you want a ,” he said, “you have to get a white boy.”

And all this time, I thought that if you wanted a commitment you had to get a woman.

“Are you sure you want to start dating white guys? I’ve heard we smell like wet dog and use our thumbs when we dance,” I joked.

He laughed but then sighed. “Might as well. The black guys I know have too much game.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this. A few days ago, another black friend told me he’s “stopped messin’ with other negroes because they ain’t about shit!” Even several of my black gal pals say the same: it is impossible to find a good black man.

So what’s up with all this? Is this a gay thing? Is this a geographic thing? What’s a white boy to do? According to these naysayers, will I have to end up with a pasty red head to find happiness? Now that I’ve gone black, will I have to go back?

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8 to “I Heart Black Men”

  1. jackie says:

    You know why they say “once you go black you don’t go back?”
    Because nothing rhymes with “colored.”

    jackie recently posted..The Consensus of Flies- A RantMy Profile

  2. As a single black woman, I have heard (and rarely uttered) the “you can’t find a good black man” mantra. It’s not strictly true. Black men often describe black women as strident, harsh, gold-digging and a host of other terms that don’t describe me and how I treat my partners, so I know that the stereotypes about black men aren’t strictly true, either.

    But that being said, stereotypes become stereotypes because for a part of the population in question, they do ring true. I think that there is a subset of the black male population (apparently gay as well as straight) that tends to be very disrespectful in interpersonal relationships, that tends to take kindness for weakness and that tends to denigrate the people who love them just because they can.

    You don’t have to choose between black and white. If you like black, you can have black. But you need to pick your Negroes very, very carefully.
    Dont Be a Slut recently posted..Dont Be a Sluts Best of the Blogosphere – April 2011My Profile

  3. SoloAt30 says:

    I remember I had a major crush on this one black man in college, and he completely ignored me…I always carried around the sense that he thought I wasn’t “black” enough. Another black man who did want to date me in college was in a black fraternity and bought into the black honor roll (because you know, we’re not smart enough to get on the regular honor roll)…Anyway, I digress.

    I have really only seriously dated white men, though I briefly dated a guy from Japan. It’s strange how that plays out…if I found an amazing guy from any ethnic background, I would embrace him for his personality and all the wonderful things he is, no matter what the color of his skin or where his ancestors came from.
    SoloAt30 recently posted..Up Next on the Stage…My Profile

    • I think our history is important, obviously, however, I have purposely made a conscious effort to avoid treating my attraction to black men as a novelty, so I rarely discuss it. As I mentioned in the post, it seems to be an issue for other people in the black community. My focus is, and always has been, about how well I am treated.

      And I have never gotten this whole light-skin vs. dark-skin thing either. Seems rather counter-productive if you ask me.
      Totally Tyler recently posted..ON MY GRINDR- TIME TO RENEWMy Profile

  4. Charlotte says:

    I don’t think you can help who you are attracted to. I’ve tried on so many occasions to branch out from the hippie boys (talk about commitment phobic) but I can’t help it… so I totally understand where you’re coming from.

    It sounds as though you have at least tried to go outside of your comfort zone which is important. Don’t fret; you will find a wonderful man who will treat you right, regardless of color.

    Charlotte recently posted..because- as they say- the world is my oysterMy Profile