Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Single Women are Deviants

Single Women are Deviants single and happy womens issues womens stories  Like many of you, I’m sure, I’ve been so caught up in what’s going on in Japan and Libya that it’s been hard to pay much attention to domestic dramas this week.  But late last night I was bopping around the web, and this story caught my eye (how could it not).

Unmarried: The Tempest in Tampa – I’m sure there are lots of people who haven’t seen it, what with the world seeming to be on the brink of disaster. Here’s the short version: a single woman dared to run for Mayor of Tampa. Shocking! And we all know that single women are deviants.

There may, or may not have actually been a kinda funny flyer sent out trying to use her single-hood against her (well, I think it’s funny):

Unmarried: Rose Ferlita has put her political ambition first and foremost, while her opponent is a dedicated family man with two children — Ferlita is an unmarried woman with a suspect to family values.

Now, who knows, maybe there are lots of people who think married people would make better mayors? That a single woman (or man) couldn’t possibly have the same commitment to family values.  Whatever the hell that means in 2011.

But here is what I think – I think there’s a fine line between this and all of the (hundreds) of ridiculous articles/posts written each year about how single women are to BLAME for their single status and that their/we’re all selfish, shallow, stupid sluts. Because, of course, being single is BAD. Hence, single women are deviants.

The saddest/funniest (not sure which, maybe both) thing of all, in my mind, is how much of this nonsense is coming from other women.


Tags: ,

9 to “Single Women are Deviants”


  1. C. Fassett says:

    Wow! I don’t know why, I seriously don’t, but I continue to be shocked when I see this kind of thing in today’s world. If this isn’t a world issue, it’s most certainly a national one. Wth? I almost have to laugh at the sheer ridiculousness of it…if, like you said, it weren’t so sad! The tragedy in Japan was caused by an act of nature. Nothing we can do to control, nor can we foresee it. But this kind of mentality is caused by narrow thinking, and can be changed.
    C. Fassett recently posted..The VisitMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      It’s a national issue, for sure. I’d like to think it can be changed, but a part of me thinks we’ve actually been going backwards in the last few years. It really does seem like there’s been a huge backlash against single women. Ridiculous.

      • Black Iris says:

        Do you have any theories about why there is a backlash against single women? It seems like such an odd thing to get mad about.

  2. NikkiB says:

    Ugh. This shit is seriously irritating – and something we don’t always look closely at but should.

    I can’t agree more – it should be funny, but it’s sad. Depressing. We’re deviants and we can’t possibly do certain jobs well because we don’t have a family. Because we couldn’t find a man to marry us. Because shame on you Woman Who Put Her Career First. And yes, a lot of it comes from other women. That, my friend, really is shameful.

    Second – damned if you do, damned if you don’t. Hello, certain jobs require a whole hell of a lot of time. Time away from your family. Sure, that’s cool if you’re a dude, because you probably have a wifey at home. And, really, you just need to bring home the bacon… right? Long major hours surely can’t mean all THAT much play time…can it? BUT. If you’re a woman? And you do have a family? And you want to have a Big Man Job? For shame. How do you have time for your kids, lady?

    Great post, Simone.
    NikkiB recently posted..Introducing… Simone and the Dating MoratoriumMy Profile

    • Simone Grant says:

      I had a similar reaction – damned if you do damned if you don’t. When it comes down to it, women are suspect no matter what choices we make, and we are each other’s harshest critics.
      So much for respect and privacy.

  3. Black Iris says:

    Do you think they were trying to suggest she was a lesbian? I’ve seen that in campaigns before.

  4. Kat says:

    It is shocking that women are still ridiculed and considered less caring because we’ve chosen not to marry or have children. Why does it never occur to the media that just may be every woman isn’t born with the Bride-gene or the Baby-Making-gene? Also, WHY is it never OK for a woman to be in her 40s and single but no one ever questions why a man has never married. If the tables were turned and she was a woman/mother/wife running for office against a single man, she be ridiculed for abandoning her family for politics and no one would even say boo about the man.

    Signed,
    Single, Deviant and Proud. :-)

  5. Alex says:

    Stretching an anecdote set in the metropolis known as Tampa and using it to wax meta on the alleged “deviancy labeling” of single women seems..well..a little deviant to yours truly.

  6. subWOW says:

    That was simply ridiculous. As far as I am concerned, single successful women are those who have the right mind-set to have said “Thank you but not at this time” so as to evade (for a longer while) the fate of becoming someone else’s maid and shortorder cook…


1 Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Personal Krubner » Blog Archive » Single people for mayor 14 04 11