I got a message in my online dating inbox the other day from a man who wondered why I rejected him (he didn’t use those words, but that’s what he was asking). I guess he saw that I’d looked at his profile and didn’t contact him.
So, a couple of things. First off, I don’t remember looking at his profile. I had, the night before, looked at some profiles. But I wasn’t putting much thought into it. And I didn’t message anyone. It was more of a half-assed browsing session. I was tired and just clicking around. Second, how arrogant of him to assume that any/most women who check out his profile would send him a message. Yeah, he’s attractive. But WTF?
Anyway, besides the fact that it was an odd situation, it did set me to thinking. I favorited a few guys who I did find interesting so that I could go back and contact them when I had more time and energy. He wasn’t one of them. Why? What was it about him that made me NOT want to contact him (since clearly he’s Mr. Irresistible)?
After thinking about it for a couple of minutes I realized it had to be one of 2 things, or maybe both of them:
a) He has odd facial hair. I used to loathe all facial hair. I’ve gotten over it, for the most part. But still really prefer men without it. And I have a real distaste for some beards (overly bushy, overly arty). Which doesn’t mean I won’t date guys with beards. But on a first impression level, I’ll usually pass.
b) He has a tremendously bad username. Cringe-worthy. This is something he’s chosen and can easily change. CRINGEWORTHY.
There’s a pretty good chance that I could’ve decided to not write to him based on either of these things, alone. So maybe I’m too picky? Entirely possible. Or maybe I’m exercising good judgment. Also possible.
It doesn’t actually matter why. I assume that other people have things they screen for/against when cruising online. There’s a guy I know who’s only interested in blondes of a certain height. And some women who seem awfully interested in men’s professions and incomes. I don’t care about any of that stuff (height, haircolor, profession, income). But facial hair and username – turns out those things (might) matter to me. Go figure.
Add this to the reasons I’m single. And I’m cranky, too.
Tags: facial hair, inbox, memory, online dating profiles, truth