Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

What’s Going On?

But first a musical interlude.

So what’s going on? Good question. I’ve been kinda quiet about my life lately.

I actually have been on a few dates in recent weeks. Perfectly fine dates with perfectly fine guys. One was followed by days of . that I was slow to reply to, because I hate . bore me, and if I’m busy with I’m not going to stop what I’m doing to flirt via text with someone I barely know. Well, not someone I’m not really excited about.

Note: even if I’m not that busy, I’m probably not going to be all that prompt with my replies to texts.

After days of my not particularly prompt replies, the texts stopped. I wish I could say I’m sad. Or feel badly. Anything. But the only thing I feel, really, is glad that I don’t have to bother with the annoying texts anymore. The guy… I would have gone out with him again if he picked up the phone and spoke to me like a grown up. But that didn’t seem to be his style. And I can’t expect people to be something they’re not.


Which is where I am, in general. I cancelled one of the dates I was supposed to have last week because I was really busy. And I just wasn’t excited enough about the date to stop everything and go.

I just haven’t been than excited about any of the guys I’ve been out with. In a while. And part of that is on me. I’ve been putting very little effort into dating and meeting new men.  And some part of that is just luck, I guess. Whatever the reason, my dates just haven’t been post-worthy. And I haven’t felt the need to make mountains out of molehills.

I don’t mean to sound so negative. But I guess I do.

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16 to “What’s Going On?”

  1. Pet says:

    I can’t decide if you are burnt out or depressed…..

    I’m been sensing a lack of energy and passion overall. How are you feeling outside of dating? Are you hanging out with friends? Having dinner with family? Taking yourself out to something fun?

    • Simone Grant says:

      Not really burnt our depressed, I think. Although I could really use a few days off. I had a great brunch with friends yesterday:-)

      I just think it’s been a really loooong time since I’ve been excited about dating.

  2. C. Fassett says:

    Sounds to me like you are doing some re-evaluating. Something we all do now and again. Sometimes, we need to take a step back to get a little perspective, then we go forward again from a new place. :)

    • Simone Grant says:

      Yes, perhaps. Or maybe, I just need to push through the bleh. I don’t know. I’m not really willing to give up just because things haven’t been going my way.

  3. IntrigueMe says:

    Meh, I get it. I feel the same way about dating, 99.9% of the time.

    Besides, if buddy wanted to go out with you again, he could have, should have, and would have picked up the damn phone to ask… instead of sending stupid texts. Grow up, buddy.

    • Simone Grant says:

      It’s a pity, because we’re both pretty awesome. We should have better dates. And YEAH, if he really wanted to see me again he would have made more of an effort. I’ll admit to not being enthusiastic. But then, neither was he.

  4. annie says:

    i totally feel the same..this week i am packed with plans and i have a few dates..but of late i dnt seem excited about them .. probably the guys dnt excite me …though i really want a nice date which makes me initiate something more .

    • Simone Grant says:

      I think (and I think and I think which is really not that healthy, I think) that I try to hard. It’s ok for us to be too busy. And to admit that the dates have just been meh.

  5. Kelly says:

    Do you tell guys you’re not crazy about the texting? I like it, and don’t have the time in the middle of the workday to have a 15 minute phone call just to say “hey, the new Radiohead album is out, yay!”, and so, a text works for me. But I text those who like texting, and don’t those who don’t. I’ve certainly dated guys who say “oh, so you like TEXTING, huh?” with the same inflection you’d use while saying “oh, so you like cannibalism, huh?”, and it’s ok, ultimately, though I don;t like being judged for liking something myself.

    Anyway, my larger point is, because texting is very commonplace, they may not conclude that your reluctance to reply is about a dislike of texting, but a dislike of them. And while that may be accurate, it seems, in the end, it may just be easier to say that texting isn’t your thing – then, when you don’t reply, they’ll get it. If they’re clever, anyway. :)

    • Simone Grant says:

      I do mention it, but I don’t make a bit deal about it. Because, really, if I really liked a guy and he was texting to just say hi – I’d be thrilled. IF he called, sometimes, too.

      I become more annoyed by the texts when it’s someone I’m not crazy about in the first place. It makes me less crazy about them.

  6. Jolene says:

    I have felt that way in the past too, with dating. After a string of ‘meh’ ones, it’s hard to get excited unless that just comes naturally. And it won’t until it’s the right guy, I guess either. Double-edged sword I suppose right? I know he’s out there for ya though!

    • Simone Grant says:

      I appreciate your optimism. It’s entirely possible he’s out there. Or hot. I usually enjoy looking. Lately I’m just a bit overwhelmed by the other parts of my life.

  7. pups4me says:

    I don’t mind texting a guy once we’ve established some sort of a relationship, or at least have had a few dates. I get that texting is quick and requires little effort but until you know someone it’s difficult to try to figure out what they’re trying to say via text. I actually had a guy think I was pissed at him because of a few texts…and this was before I had even talked to him on the phone or even met him!
    Sometimes I long for the old days of actual phone calls….

    • Simone Grant says:

      You bring up a good point. Texting with someone you know if very different, for me, that texting with someone I’ve only gone out with one time (or not yet).

      And I’m with you, I really do miss actual phone calls.

  8. Yvie says:

    I definitely hear you. I’m currently dating two guys that I like. (Including one I’ve been just ‘dating’ for EIGHT months, but that’s a story for another time.) I met both of them on, which I joined because after 2 years of casual dating, I’d decided I was ready for an actual relationship. However, although I’m not yet in a relationship with anyone, I’m just plain tired of going on meaningless dates that lead to nowhere. I just shut down my Match profile a few days ago since I hadn’t paid for the subscription in three months. Who has the time to date so many losers or ‘so-so’ guys? Maybe you are simply burned out, but I see nothing wrong with that. Maybe this frees up more time for you to focus on you?? (That’s what I’ve been telling myself!)

  9. Actually, all social networks ask the same, so the phones, all want to know what you think. But no means says he wants to know