Have I ever mentioned how much I love brunch?
I love brunch. Going out to brunch and also having friends over for brunch. I love the way people can just arrive when they arrive, and come and go over the course of the afternoon. Casual and mellow.
Anyway, I had some friends over for brunch this past weekend and we got to to talking about the fact that some people have very specific height requirements/preferences for the people they date (for example, I won’t/rarely date men who are over 13′ inches taller than me, which tops out at 6’1″, whereas most of the other women present are really into tall guys).
And from there we talked about other, um, tastes. Body types, ethnicity, race, random kinks people may or may not have.
It’s a big, wide world of strange. And hallelujah for that. I, for one, am grateful for the diversity of types and tastes. I wouldn’t want to live in a world of bland sameness.
Yet, we all, even out here in the blogosphere, pussyfoot around this stuff. Sure, every few months someone writes a post about liking tall guys. And then a lot of people get on her case because a) she’s judging guys on something completely superficial b) she’s being too picky c) she’s shallow d) I’m sure I’m forgetting some other insults.
But so what. So there are women who like tall guys. There are men who only date women with big boobs. Or women with great asses. Or blondes. So the fuck what? People like what they like.
I don’t really have any physical traits that I go for, exclusively (although there are some that certainly catch my eye). But there are personality traits that I find irresistible. For example, yesterday I got an (online dating) email from a guy who I didn’t find particularly attractive and who lives in the ‘burbs. Two big strikes. But I read his email and it made me smile. So I read his profile. Which made me laugh out loud. Loudly. And he has awesome taste in music. So I wrote him back. Because I was attracted to his intelligence and sense of humor (from what I could see of it).
Maybe that wasn’t a good story to tell. It makes me seem more noble than I am. The truth is, I don’t know who I should or shouldn’t be dating anymore. So I’m just bouncing around, looking for a good fit. Kinda like grocery shopping without a list. I’m just randomly putting things in my cart.
Here’s a better story/example, one I shared with my friends at brunch. There was this guy. He and I went out a few times. Pretty early on, he let it slip that he was into s & m. He wasn’t a lifestyler (in other words, he had a very vanilla life outside out of the bedroom) but his sexual tastes were pretty hardcore. His sexual fantasies included things like caning, whipping someone til she bled, breathplay. Stuff I’d never in a million years consent to. I’m very open-minded, but I draw the line at letting someone hurt me.
So he and I decided to just be friends. Skip forward a year or so and he meets a woman that he really likes and he decides to not say anything about his sexual tastes. She’s very vanilla and he decides that he’ll just try to live w/o the kink in his sex life. Skip forward another year and he’s cheating on her, having kinky trysts with random strangers he met online. She finds out and is devastated.
Here’s my take on the topic = We are who we are. We like who we like. We get off on what we get off on. As long as it’s between 2 consenting adults, people should follow their hearts and their libidos.
Or is that just me being shallow, again?
Tags: boobs, brunch, date, guy, kinky, Online dating, vanilla