Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

If You’re Going to Kiss Me – KISS ME

So I had this last week, the day it snowed.  But first some background info:

* The didn’t have a picture posted with his profile.  He did send one pretty much right away, but with an odd comment about people “looking for him” online. Which was either a bad joke or a sign of paranoia. I couldn’t tell.

* He suggested, in his very first note, that we skip the whole getting to know you online thing and meet for a drink that night. He mentioned a bar that I know well. I thought about it for a what the hell moment. But I was busy. Working.  We did end up making plans, rather quickly, to meet later in the week.

* He kindly offered to meet in my neighborhood and then went on to pick one of my favorite places – always a plus.

All that said, I arrived and we were lucky enough to get a seat right away.  The snow had kept the place relatively empty. He then ordered an obscene amount of food, even though we were only supposed to be meeting for a drink (I hate when guys do that).

Skip ahead 10 minutes and he brings up , in some random context, for the first time. He then apologizes, if he offended me and I say, I don’t offend easily. Then, over the course of the evening, he brings up sex several more times. As if he’s been locked away for years and I’m the first woman he’s seen.


So I’m thinking, THIS IS NOT GOING WELL. But also trying to enjoy the parts of the conversation that are enjoyable. While I wait for him to finish his mountains of food.  Because I can’t just leave.

Eventually it’s time to leave. And we’re all bundled up and saying our goodbyes outside the restaurant.  Before I know it, he leans in to me. It happens too quickly for me to turn my head (to give him my cheek).  I guess I just wasn’t paying attention.  And then… he kind of non-kisses me. His lips touched mine. But that’s it. It was like they hit them. Without an actual . No pucker. Not that I wanted a . But if you’re going to make an effort at pushing your lips onto mine, me.


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10 to “If You’re Going to Kiss Me – KISS ME”

  1. Kim says:

    I love your dating stories. You make me want to start a dating blog, but my stories are so crazy sometimes, I’d almost be ashamed to post them. I suppose I could be anonymous. Hmmm. If you ever need a guest blogger… :-)

  2. Toddy says:

    Hmm, not sure what to make of all this. Maybe he was just really nervous? I must admit my own physical performances tend to be less than stellar due to crazy nerves in the beginning. As to the sex convo, since I dont know what exactly what was said and in what context. It really could be deal breaker stuff like whoh u have issues or simply wow u r nervous, stop being weird. So Im guessing theyll be no second date? Sorry it didnt go well, T.

  3. Maybe he leaned in to kiss you but saw the look of panic on your face as you realized he actually intended to put his lips on yours and pulled back enough to just graze his lips on yours.

    Ok, I’m probably overthinking this. You gonna see him again?

  4. jPb says:

    That’s the thing about the snow. Brings out all of the poor drivers.

  5. sounds like he just didn’t have a clue! You sure he wasn’t some dating version of frosty the snowman? Only let out when it snows 😉

  6. D says:

    Alternative title: If you’re going to turn the cheek, TURN THE CHEEK!

    Maybe he saw your hesitant body language and pulled back at the last second. I’ve had that happen to me.

    You were already annoyed that he order food and I bet $100 he had no idea that bothers you. So he plows through. Then when he senses something DID annoy you, he pulls back. Which is more gentlemanly?

  7. Rain says:

    Oh that was a good one :) i remember like six years ago, i went on a date with this guy and when i told him i was not interested in him and we should just be friends, he then started to convince me that once i start to kiss him i will never be able to let him go…i will fall in love with him and will want to marry him….naturally i walked off thinking he is mad. A year later he got married and called me up before the wedding to tell me “Your going to be single for the rest of your life, grow old and have no one to care for you” i was traumatized by the call and by his constant desire to marry me after only meeting me once.

  8. LadyD says:

    One word: NEXT!!

  9. Eli says:

    …maybe he still had food in his mouth? :)

  10. Dean Kaplan says:

    Sounds like you may have been pissed if he even kissed you correctly even, after how the evening went… No?