Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Blast from the Past – Luck Luck Luck Luck Luck – > There, I said it!

This has been a seriously week. So long, that I’m too tired to write the post that I’ve been thinking about writing. So, I thought now would be the perfect time to share one of my favorite posts from last summer.

Luck Luck – > There, I said it!

I was chatting with a friend over dinner last night. He’s single. I’m single. We’d each prefer to be in a relationship, if it were the right one/a good one. But we’re not in relationships. *shrug*

And I said that the thing that upsets me most about the single/dating industry (of which, I realize, I’m kinda a part of) is that for all of the and books and how-tos, you seldom read/see anyone talking about luck. Lots of stuff about recognizing your past mistakes, breaking old patterns, being positive, focusing on what you want… none of which is bad . But it’s pretty much unheard of to click on some relationship--givers link and see, Sometimes it’s just about luck. Or something to that effect.

I know couples who’ve met in airports. I met the first great of my life in a hotel lobby. Every day there are people who meet their future mates on airplanes, trains, buses.


One of my dearest friends met his partner while he was away for the weekend. They were each away for the weekend, in the same obscure beach town, getting away from bad . Neither wanted to be involved with anyone, seriously, for a long while. And then they met and within weeks they were attached at the hip. They’ve been together for over 12 years, since.


It’s a big world. Huge. And we humans are complicated creatures. I don’t know why I fell in love, all of those years ago, with the totally inappropriate stranger in that hotel lobby (although I’m sure there are many, many people who’d like to posit theories). And I have no idea why he fell in love with me. I just know that we did. That we had an instant connection of the type I’ve seldom felt since.

If my were different, by just 5 or 10 minutes, he and I never would have met. And a big chunk of my adult life might have worked out differently. But my wasn’t different. I was sitting in exactly the right place at exactly the right time to meet him… Things worked out the way they did. About which I’m neither happy or sad. I figure it all happened the way it did for a reason.


I know there are people who don’t believe in luck. Who believe that we attract good things to ourselves (with positive energy, or something like that). I respectfully think that’s a load of shite.

At the same time, I understand why people don’t like to talk about the role luck plays in our lives. People like control. Or at least the illusion of control. You can’t control luck.

Even in the shopping cart crazy world of online dating, luck is out there, affecting our outcomes. There are weeks when I’m just too busy to deal with my inbox. Sometimes several weeks in a row. And then, sometimes, when I get to it, the guys who’ve written to me have disappeared. Maybe one of those disappearing men might have been perfect for me, if only I’d gotten to his email sooner?


Sorry folks, you can fool some of the people some of the time and all that crap. But luck plays a bigger role in our lives than most people are willing to admit. We are not in control. Get over it.


There were lots of great comments on the original post. You should go read them!

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4 to “Blast from the Past – Luck Luck Luck Luck Luck – > There, I said it!”

  1. Matt says:

    One of my favorite quotes- “Luck always follows the prepared wind”

  2. Nikki says:

    Agreed. In life and love, there are so many aspects we can’t change one lil bit. I think it’s more evidence for loving you and loving your life and changing the things that need changing, and embracing the things that don’t. Those are things you have control over.

    Life does whatever the heck it wants.

  3. Steve says:

    Luck or fate? I supposed they are one in the same but I’ve always like to call it the latter…

  4. Jenn says:

    I completely believe in luck, or fate. Especially when trying online dating sites it is all about luck. Every time I log on I am in a different frame of mind. There are some nights I answer the very cute, probably too young guys because I am feeling great about myself. There are other time I’m feeling fed up and disappointed in the whole process and I resolve to find the not so cute but terribly witty guys, trying to create attraction through conversation. I’ve met a number of guys where I know we could have continued in this common location without ever running into each other or actually meeting had it not been for our online profiles. I live in a relatively small town but it is large enough that there are people I will never meet. So it is all about luck, reading the right message at the right time, giving the right person a chance at the right time. Just getting two people at the same place in their lives at the same time is a magical moment of luck.

    Just hoping luck shines my way soon!