Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

A Little Bit of Facebook Stalking Never Hurt Anyone…

Anyone who knows me (and this includes people who know me IRL and those with whom I have strictly online relationships) knows that I’m not a fan of . As I’ve said many times, I think facebook is the devil (and, unfortunately, a necessary evil).

So this whole concept of facebook stalking is hard for me to wrap my head around. Or was. Until recently.

There was someone I was curious about. Someone who is not in my life.  Anymore. So I looked him up on facebook.  And then wasted what had to be an hour of my life reading the last year-ish of his facebook wall. Which made me crazy mad. And just crazy.

This was, BTW, the first time I’d ever done anything like that. And I’m fairly certain I’ll never do it again.

If someone is not in my life, why would I want to know what they’re up to? If they’re happy? Sad? In a relationship? Dead or alive?

But clearly I’m not in the mainstream here. Otherwise we wouldn’t have the term, “facebook stalking.” And people wouldn’t nod in recognition when they hear someone talk about facebook stalking the ex.

So, you know where this is going…

Do you your ex(es)?

View Results

Loading ... Loading ...

Tags: , ,

11 to “A Little Bit of Facebook Stalking Never Hurt Anyone…”

  1. I’m friendly with all my exes except one. (Notice I didn’t say “friends.” We don’t call each other up and talk about Dexter. But if I see them in a store, I’ll acknowledge them and say hello.) But I think you’re right about people who aren’t in our lives. Why waste time stalking them on Facebook? We almost never find out anything that makes us happy.

  2. Kim says:

    The few times that I have done this, I have regretted it IMMENSELY. You see, I’m a little sick in the head, and to see an ex in another relationship, regardless of the circumstances of the break-up, always makes me feel somehow inferior. It’s really twisted, I know, but it is what it is. I won’t do it again, because I don’t want to subject myself to that feeling again.

  3. Like you I hate Facebook, so I have avoided Facebook. But I do get a lot of invites, I figure if you don’t have my cell number and/or email address I don’t want to talk to you. I don’t have very many ex’s, as I was in a relationship for many years, but the few that I do have I am most definitely not interested in their current life. However, I do wish them well.

    Thankfully, we life in a country where we can chose to have an ex.

    Sherry Trenee

  4. Scott says:

    I’m terrible. I not only Facebook stalk but do Google searches and LinkedIn as well. And I do all of this unapologetically. I don’t go overboard and I’m not stalking them per se, just, erm, looking them up. It’s out of curiosity–I mean, why do people watch “Where Are They Now?” on VH1? Why do people go to high school and college reunions? Don’t you ever find yourself thinking, Whatever happened to X? What’s Y doing these days? For me the worst isn’t Facebook stalking someone after I’ve broken up but Facebook stalking in the early stages. It would drive me nuts to see my potential mate friendly with another guy even though I had no right to be jealous. OK, maybe I *am* a little nuts.

  5. LAmoureuse says:

    Oh shame on me! I have done it, but only for one of my exes.
    I too am still friendly with most of my exes, I even have some as my friends on FB. But the only one I “stalk” I decided to take off of my friends list after we broke up, it was too hard to see his updates all the time. Now from time to time I go and check his pictures. Pretty much every time it makes me feel a bit sad. I should really stop, maybe today!

  6. Nikki04 says:

    Oh! The facebook stalk!

    I’ve def stalked exes and always regretted it. It just sucks you back in. You gotta let that sleeping dog lie. Even if you discover the bad shit? How does that help you move on?

    But… it’s sooooo hard not to do sometimes… But stopping is the first sign of Recovery…

  7. luna says:

    I rarely log onto Facebook either, yet one day I logged on and there was my ex staring at me from a picture on the right under “suggested friends.” Well…my first thought was, “ew.” Then I wondered how the hell Facebook connected me with him to suggest he be a friend! Was Facebook doing some stalking of their own? Call me paranoid…lol, my pc has been hacked before, and I suspect, but not certain, it came from being on Facebook.

    Anyhoot, I couldn’t stand it, I had to take a peek. I’d never done anything like that before, so my heart was racing, my hands began to shake…then I get on there, and on the top of his friend’s list is the woman he left me for…

    I have to tell ya, I looked at her, looked at him, and thought, “You know what chic? You can have him and his fake smile! EW!” I was happy to click off his page, and happy to actually KNOW I was done with him. Now I don’t have any curiosity at all. Done, and it feels good. :)

  8. Jen says:

    I did. Then I deleted him. There are not enough hours in the day for me to waste my time reading that shite.

  9. G/W says:

    I am such a facebook stalker… it almost worries me. Sometimes I block people to stop myself from creeping on them :(

  10. I am a MAJOR FB stalker. It is a horrible habit really. For my last ex, I checked his page a lot until he got a new girlfriend. Annnd then I unfriended his ass. I am a huge fan of de-friending to avoid the FB stalking. Really, in the end, just because we can, doesn’t mean we should.


  11. Black Iris says:

    Most of the people I look up have their Facebook page set so that you can’t read their wall or status updates. So I don’t think I would be able to spend that much time looking at anyone.

    I don’t like calling to Facebook stalking, though. It seems silly when the information is out there for the public to read. It’s not like you’re hiding in the bushes to watch someone. What if you had a friend who was a writer and so you read all their columns?