Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Fun with Science aka Why I’m Still Single

So lots of people have been posting and tweeting about this really cool article in Scientific American, What Attachment Theory Can Teach About Love and Relationships. I first read about it in Jezebel a couple of days ago and immediately clicked through, read it and did their handy, dandy little test.

Speaking of which, since so many people are out doing the holiday week/getting reading for NYE thing, I just decided to skip the real post for today and just post my test results. Because why the hell not?

So here they are, verbatim:

Attachment Styles and Close

Thank you for completing the Close Relationships Questionnaire/Experiences in Close Relationships-Revised Questionnaire. This questionnaire is designed to measure your attachment style–the way you relate to others in the context of intimate relationships. As you might suspect, people differ greatly in the ways in which they approach close relationships. For example, some people are comfortable opening up to others emotionally, whereas others are reluctant to allow themselves to depend on others.

According to attachment theory and , there are two fundamental ways in which people differ from one another in the way they think about relationships. First, some people are more anxious than others. People who are high in attachment-related tend to worry about whether their partners really love them and often fear rejection. People low on this dimension are much less worried about such matters. Second, some people are more avoidant that others. People who are high in attachment-related avoidance are less comfortable depending on others and opening up to others.

According to your questionnaire responses, your attachment-related anxiety score is 3.14, on a scale ranging from 1 (low anxiety) to 7 (high anxiety). Your attachment-related avoidance score is 5.58, on a scale ranging from 1 (low avoidance) to 7 (high avoidance).

We have plotted your two scores in the two-dimensional space defined by attachment-related anxiety and avoidance. Your approximate position in this space is denoted by the blue dot. (Note: If you left any of the questions unanswered, then these scores will be inaccurate.)
Fun with Science aka Why I’m Still Single i am not a role model  graph

As you can see in this graph, the two dimensions of anxiety and avoidance can be combined to create interesting combinations of attachment styles. For example people who are low in both attachment-related anxiety and avoidance are generally considered secure because they don’t typically worry about whether their partner’s are going to reject them and they are comfortable being emotionally close to others.Combining your anxiety and avoidance scores, you fall into the dismissing quadrant. Previous research on attachment styles indicates that dismissing people tend to prefer their own autonomy–oftentimes at the expense of their close relationships. Although dismissing people often have high self-confidence, they sometimes come across as hostile or competitive by others, and this often interferes with their close relationships.

Am I surprised by any of this?  What do you think?  Um, no.  Have I learned anything new from this?  Um, no. I already know my issues (HIGH AVOIDANCE, love the way they put that).  But it’s always interesting to have another way to look at the same old stuff.


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2 to “Fun with Science aka Why I’m Still Single”


  1. I still think the best relationship maxim is the line from “Hallelujah” .. “All I’ve ever learned from love was how to shoot somebody who outdrew ‘ya.” Eventually, all relationships get to that point. Or I’m high-avoidance, high-anxiety and too scared to take the test :-)

  2. 2.89 / 2.64 secure here, wishing you Happy New Year. May your 2011 be populated with at least one cloud of starlings, at least one banana float, lots of walks (preferably with dog), all the fun you can stand and the sweat to match, at least one viewing of the Philadelphia Story or other notable Hepburn – Grant film (Holiday is fine), and the easiest and most critical of all: Smile, life is good.