I’ve been pretty much out of commission for the past couple of days. And it’s pretty much (OK, it is) my own fault.
I have this pattern that I keep falling in to. I start to feel unwell. But I’m busy with work, so I just take my medicine and try to ignore my body and how I’m feeling. Even though I know that I need rest to fully feel better. I just take whatever pills I need to get through the day.
And because I don’t rest, I don’t get well. And so I need to take more pills. And I continue to work. Through it. Ignoring how I feel. For days. Sometimes for weeks. Until things get really bad and the pills stop working. Then I end up either at my doctor’s office or the ER. This time it was the ER.
So I’ve been trying to stay in bed for the past few days. Forcing myself to take it easy. Which meant canceling plans with a friend last night and not going to a party tonight.
So why am I writing this? Well, I’ve always had VERY MIXED feelings about writing about health stuff here on the blog. I feel like:
a) This is seriously personal stuff and I don’t want to deal with people’s ignorance and hostility about my health (it’s bad enough that I have to deal with people’s negativity in relation to my dating and relationship choices).
b) Talking openly about my health makes me that much more recognizable to the people who know me in real life.
But fuck it. The reality is, so much of the story of my dating/relationship is also a story of my trying to balance work and family and health issues with TRYING to have a dating life. And sometimes, it’s all I can do to just work and stay healthy. Or rather, medicate enough to work and then sleep and then get up the next day and do it all over again. This isn’t, Oh, poor me. Everyone should feel bad for me. I just felt like adding a little bit more of my reality to the picture, here.
Comments are closed. Because, that’s why.
Tags: health, Sick, work