So, I’m a week or so into my most recent foray into online dating and I’ve been thinking about my theory of good daters vs daters. In short, some guys are great daters: fun, charming, sexy – but they suck at relationships. Others may be lousy on a first date, but deserve a second look because they’re good at relationships. And yeah, this is an oversimplification and there is overlap between the groups.
I wonder if the same kind of logic can be used for guys and online dating?
I’m 40 now, so I’m not getting the same volume of messages that I used to (because I absolutely, positively won’t lie about my age, no matter what AND women over 38ish are less desirable in onlinedatingland). But I’ve gotten a few messages. And a few of those have sparked my interest.
However, all of their profiles kinda sucked. Even their messages kinda sucked, if I was going to be critical about it. Which, I guess, I would’ve been a couple of years ago.
My interest was sparked because I was reading between the lines and trying to figure out the answer to this question, if a friend was describing this guy to me, would I want to meet him?
Truth is, there are guys I see out there in onlinedatingland with awesome pics and great profiles. In some cases, the same damn ones they’ve been using since 2005. And we all know that it’s easy for people to hire someone to write their profiles AND all of their messages. So what? When it comes down to it, do I really care if someone has great writing skills. I’m not looking to hire a copywriter. Note: The top worst 3 dates I’ve ever had in terms of my dates being rude douchebags were with guys who had fabulously, amazing profiles. All 3 were writers.
I’m looking for guys I might want to meet/date, not the guys with the best profiles.
Hence my new question, if a friend was describing this guy to me, would I want to meet him?
Which is, I think, a good place to start.
Stay tuned. One date scheduled for this week, so far. I’m hopeful. Crappy profile, but he seems like he might be a really decent guy.
Tags: bad date, douchebag, online dating profile picture