I have a new favorite TV show – Dexter (can you please not read too much into that, please). I’m always a few episodes or seasons behind with everything, but being so sick gave me plenty of time to catch up with my TV watching (seriously, I’ve pretty much run out of stuff I wanna watch on Hulu).
So, I was watching the most recent episode last night. Dexter (the character) said something that made me rewind and grab my pen:
“From the outside, a normal home is indistinguishable from the home of a monster who puts women in barrels.”
We’ve all heard it before, you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. But this takes it a step further, I believe: There is potential danger lurking behind those seemingly normal doors. Your life depends on your judgment.
At least that’s what came to my mind.
I’ve written before about my history of spectacularly poor judgment with men. I have trust issues, and have a hard time trusting new people, in general. Men, women, lovers, colleagues, acquaintances… And then, when I do decide to trust someone, I have a crappy track record of trusting the wrong people. Of being fooled by people who seem great, and then turn out to be not-great. And, I know, I have no one to blame but myself.
It’s a crappy cycle. Because each time I choose to trust someone new, and they turn out to be less good (kind, thoughtful, honest, unselfish) than I thought they were, it makes it harder for me to trust again, in the future.
Anyway, today’s post started out as a poll. Until I realized I couldn’t/didn’t want to reduce my thoughts to a multiple choice Q & A. I guess what I want to know is if there are others out there who have these kind of trust issues? Who find themselves struggling to trust new people? And trusting the wrong people?
FWIW, this is something that I’ve been working on, in my own fucked up way. I really would like to be more open with my feelings. And smarter with them, too.
Tags: judgment, trust