Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

The Gift of Gab

The Gift of Gab just a story  silent 300x170My relationship with has evolved over the last 2 years. I still love it, don’t get me wrong. I’m one of those weird people who goes out of her way to actually meet, IRL, the people she “meets” via social media. And I’ve met some really awesome people.

But for the most part, lately, I mainly use twitter for . Like 90% of the time.

There’s just so much noise out there. And yeah, I realize that there are plenty of people who’d define me as noise. It’s all a matter of taste and perspective. It can be hard to sort through the noise, to find the stuff I want to read/hear.

Anyway, yesterday I caught this tweet from @SilentScorpion“I would like to thank my momma for making sure I wasn’t socially awkward. She encouraged me to join extra curricular activities and meet ppl” and it got me to thinking.

I know a lot of socially awkward people (please note: the following statements are not meant to offend anyone). A LOT. In fact, just the other night, I was out with friends and we were talking about the fact that we know A LOT of socially awkward people. Not in a teasing, aren’t they pathetic of way. More in a huh, how’d that happen, kind of way. Because, some of the people in question, the socially awkward ones, are social media folks and bloggers and their online personas are, well, NOT socially awkward. They come across confident and secure. And then you meet them and find out they have issues with eye contact and simple interpersonal communication.

Which I find interesting. Though not exactly weird. It’s hardly surprising that some people create online personas for themselves that reflect who they wish they were.

Even more interesting, to me, is the idea that Silent Scorpion is attributing her lack of social awkwardness to the fact that her mother encouraged to join extra curricular activities. I’m sure she’s right. Why wouldn’t she be?

That got me to thinking about other people. I know a lot of people who have the gift of gab. Who can pretty much be comfortable talking to anyone, anywhere, anytime. And who’ve been put to that test, repeatedly, as adults (moving to different places, having daunting professional challenges that require them to build relationships with diverse people under less than ideal conditions). And I don’t imagine many of them picked up those skills in extra curricular activities. Though who knows?


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12 to “The Gift of Gab”


  1. Stacy says:

    My online and IRL persona are one in the same. Can’t say I did to many extracurricular activities. They weren’t very popular in my day. Basically, I went from Social Butterfly to Social Media Butterfly. Twitter is like a cocktail party and a good one at that.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Hmm, most people I know only show parts of themselves online. Perhaps you are the one truly transparent person out here, LOL?

      I was never into extracurriculars either, but I learned pretty young how to talk to people. Work and stuff, I guess.

  2. Sandy says:

    this is interesting. my personal experience actually supports the idea that the “gift of gab” (good term!) does relate to participation in extracurricular activities and the like at a young age. i was always shy, but thanks to my parents and their first child syndrome, i took dance classes, art classes, played sports, went to church youth group activities, and was basically forced to socialize even when i didn’t want to. and now i’ll talk to anyone, anywhere. i’m not necessarily comfortable all the time, but i’m good at it. and i think maybe that’s what socialization at a young age does. it doesn’t create extroverts, but it helps develop the skill of doing something even when it’s difficult, which then becomes super relevant when, as adults, our comfort zones are put to the test.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Wow, your parents kept you busy! I can totally see how that kind of stuff can teach kids how to be social/instill them with decent interpersonal skills.

  3. Sandy says:

    p.s. i think the fact that i’m so far from your demographic (i’m married) and still read every day speaks to the fact that you are not noise.

  4. Jolene says:

    Interesting. I tend to agree that it is VERY easy to be “socially awkward” in person if you are used to relying on social media or other forms of computer-based communications to interact with people. I think it’s something those that have a shy side veer towards. I have a shy side and I can attest to that, in a sense. Thought provoking though for sure!

    • Simone Grant says:

      My work life, for years, depended on my being ON all of the time. I actually find myself becoming less social, now that I get to spend so much time home alone. Not that that’s a bad thing.

      I just find it odd when people project an image of themselves as anything but shy or awkward, if that’s who they are IRL.

  5. Hmmm…interesting observation.

    I’m not the most social person. I don’t have difficulties walking into a crowded room alone, but I do have major difficulty instigating a conversation with a stranger when I’m not in a work environment.

    It’s almost like I wear 2 hats…the work hat and the “me” hat, and they each bring out different “me’s”…does that make sense?

    And, I never did any socialising activities when I was a kid.

    Great blog, by the way!

  6. SecretSquirrel says:

    It’s very easy to look at a computer screen and type away; not so easy to look someone in the eye and say the same thing.

    By the way, I’m a blogger and I’m exactly the same in person, on my blog, on twitter, and in email. People who meet me are surprised cuz I’m pretty outrageous online. I just wink and tell them they already knew my online “personality” so they shouldn’t be shocked. haha

  7. Margie says:

    I expect people to be more shy in person. Like secretsquirrel says, it’s easy to look at a computer. Not so easy to look someone in the eye.

  8. Black Iris says:

    Maybe instead of saying that people are acting out what they wish they were on-line, we should say that they are showing another part of themselves.