Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Building Love

A glimpse of my new kitchen

Yesterday was moving day for me. I’m in my new place, with all of my furniture and most of my stuff. Some stuff didn’t make it into the moving truck.  My movers overlooked my favorite lamp (and I was too freaked out to realize) plus a big suitcase and some bags full of towels.  And I didn’t have time to completely pack up my kitchen and bathroom.

Luckily, I just moved a few blocks and everything that was left behind could fit in a single car trip (not that I have a car, but I have fabulous who do).  And there’s another week til the end of the month.

Anyway, here are a few things I learned yesterday. I suck at packing. And guestimating size and space.  And would it kill me to measure something?  Even though I gave away a massive amount of stuff, and left many things behind, my new place is seriously splitting at the seams.  My furniture doesn’t all fit (which I kinda knew, but it’s worse than I thought).  And the closet is 1/3 the size I thought it was. And there’s only one closet. And another thing. There are no drawers in the kitchen.  The kitchen is beautiful, recently redone. But no drawers.  WTF?

But I didn’t notice the lack of drawers or the closet decifiency or any of the other issues because I fell in love with the place. Not right away, mind you.

I didn’t even want to look at it, at first.  It’s not on one of my favorite blocks (like I said, I didn’t move far, and I know my ‘hood block-by-block) and there’s no laundry in the building (which I haven’t had in over 11 years, and was one of my must-haves for this move).  But there was an open-house and I figured, what the hell.  What did I have to lose other than 15 minutes of my life? And then I walked in and saw the space and the light and well… I fell in love.

And I still love it.  But now that I’m here and realizing, holy shit, I have to give away even more of my stuff. The reality is setting in.

Funny how my relationship with my is so much like the relationships I’ve had with some men.  I started with distrust and distaste, moved quickly to infatuation, and now I’m trying to come to terms with the reality of our relationship.  To build a love that lasts.

So that’s what I’m thinking this morning.

Tags: ,

14 to “Building Love”

  1. LuckyBroad says:

    I have moved so much since my divorce that I have managed to scale back my belongings to only the absolutely necessary. While the fact that I don’t own a fork still bothers me to some degree, I can’t say that I miss my “things”. I far more love the opportunity that not bringing them with me presents.
    Enjoy your new adventure! I’ve always looked at each new locale as a fantastic new opportunity.

    • Simone Grant says:

      Thanks darling. I’m somewhat bewildered by how hard this move is for me, in terms of letting go of the old stuff. It was so very different in my 20s. I used to say that I never wanted to own anything that couldn’t be moved in a single car trip. That I like traveling light. And then I moved into my last place and bought real furniture and started to accumulate stuff. Lots of stuff.

      ps, no fork, really?

  2. I just downsized my life in a really major way. I put a few things into storage (mostly my son’s things, plus my bed and my books). I got rid of almost everything else. Couch, gone. Dining set, gone. Six garbage bags FULL of clothes I rarely wear, gone. I opened the doors to my apartment, posted “free shit” on craigslist and let people crawl in taking what used to be prized possessions with them when they left. And something surprising happened.

    I LOVED watching it all go! I was so happy to be free of it and have a chance to kind of reinvent my life as I move forward from here. Everything I had held onto just because so-and-so gave it to me I got rid of.

    Getting rid of even more might not be so bad.

    • Simone Grant says:

      LOL, the first things I got rid of was a whole cabinet full of pottery and random kitchen things that were gifts. A whole cabinet that I hadn’t opened in at least a year.

      As for the rest of it, maybe a craigslist giveaway is the way to go.

  3. Ellen Smith says:

    Funny how you likened it to your relationships with men. ^_^
    I think, next time you should not guestimate things,you should always
    look into things in different angles and it is also wiser to consider other options or solicit opinions, that’s how i deal with things….

    • Simone Grant says:

      I’ve been getting opinions… but yeah, the measuring would have helped a lot. Maybe not as much as having a few thousand extra dollars for all new furniture, but a lot.

  4. Jolene says:

    Wow, nice job with the move…I’ve found moving to be therepeutic in a way, getting to shed old memories for new, and tons of crap I don’t need 😉

  5. Eschelle says:

    I am happy that i decided to come and check you out! Great post, very natural. I look forward to blog stalking you lol!

  6. Ken says:

    Packing blows. But, oddly, I love moving. Something about a new place and “breaking it in” is infinitely appealing to me.

    • Simone Grant says:

      I’m planning to “break it in” sometime next week, just as soon as I feel 100% better and buy a new rug for the bedroom. I want to get off on the right foot with my downstairs neighbors, LOL.

  7. Julie says:

    if we have bad experiences in love, let’s move on and building love.

  8. Your post made me want to break out in hives.

    I’m generally more your plan the move to the nth degree kinda gal than your ‘she’ll be right’ seat-of-your-pants kinda gal. (Leaning towards OCD, really.)

    As for the travelling light comments – I am absolutely with you on de-cluttering (in theory, anyway) but if I were actually going to do it, I would hope to consciously and deliberately choose to thin out my possessions, not have the decision inadvertently foisted upon me by ill-considered living quarters.

    On the other hand, I guess sometimes the universe works in mysterious (and pushy) ways. Maybe the powers that be decided it was time for you to shed some gear and free yourself of material burdens.

    Anyhow, good on you for brazening out the move and I hope your new place soon becomes a warm, cosy, fabulous – and uncluttered – home. :-)