Let’s recap, shall we? I’m recovering from the cold from hell that had me apt-bound for over 3 weeks and am moving later this week (from the apt I’ve lived in for over 8 years to a nicer but considerably smaller apt in the same neighborhood).
So no stress from any of that.
And it’s been months since I’ve been on an actual date (playdates with the fb don’t count). I’m getting restless. I miss having a goddamn life. I miss meeting new people, putting on cute clothes, lipstick and dating.
And I’m thinking, hey, I’m nearly well. Maybe, after my move, I’ll be able to start dating again. That would be so totally awesome.
So… here’s the thing. And it’s kind of embarrassing/ridiculous. I’m feeling really insecure, all of sudden, about my appearance. Being sick has meant a lot of lying around, sucking on cough drops all day, drinking juice… basically just gobbling up sugar and burning none of it. Leaving me the most out of shape I’ve been in years. Not that any of my friends (the ones I’ve seen in the past month) would notice as I’ve been wearing the same couple of empire waisted tops and dressed, over and over. But seriously, I no longer have a waistline and none of my jeans fit. Not even the fat jeans.
Anyway, it’s an issue. I don’t like the way I look and that is totally eating into my self-esteem. I’ll deal with it, somehow. Stop eating so much sugar, find a way to get out more and walk. Something. Because I really do miss dating and I don’t know if I can successfully put myself out there feeling as yucky as I do about looking in the mirror. I don’t know. First things first: I still have to move. And finish getting healthy. I’ll deal with my lack of a waistline sometime next week.
Tags: hell, Sick, stress