I work from home, which has its pros and cons. Yesterday it was pouring rain and so it was great that I didn’t have to go out in it (I did go out last night to pick up juice and soup, as I’m nursing the same damn cold everyone in NYC seems to have right now). In general, I don’t have issues with productivity. In other words, I never turn on the TV during the day or decide that I’d rather read a book than work. I sit and do my stuff like a good little worker bee.
But sometimes I get completely stir crazy and need to go work somewhere else. I’ve looked into co-working spaces, but can’t really justify the cost right now (plus, I do kinda like working from home most of the time). Sometimes I go out to a bar in my neighborhood to work during the day because they have wifi and it’s actually quieter than Starbucks (random note: I’m moving soon and thinking of getting a mobile wifi thing instead of having dsl hooked up in my new place, then I can work from anywhere, so if anyone knows about that please drop me a line).
One day last week, I met a friend there so that we could both work, have lunch and just have some human contact. I got there first and immediately opened up my laptop, but the wifi was down. I looked to a table a few feet away from me and there was a guy with a laptop and he seemed to be working, which I found odd (he could have been tethering, but then why go to a bar with wifi…). Whatever, as soon as the waitress came over to take my order I told her that the wifi was down and that it needed to be reset and could they please take care of it. Which they did. Right away.
The guy sitting a few feet from me leans over and says something like, “Thanks for asking.”
Later on, my friend gets there and I tell him briefly about the wifi and the guy who sat their like a lump without it working and say, “yet another reason why I’m single, men who are too timid to ask about the damn wifi.”
I saw this tweeted yesterday by Melanie Gorman.
This is not a new issue for me. A long while ago I wrote about my theory of nice men and why I don’t/can’t date them. But here’s the thing, and here is why I started today’s post with the silly story of working from the bar and the malfunctioning wifi. Sometimes we get tangled up in language and/or we don’t say what we mean. That man in the bar. Maybe he’s a nice guy. Maybe he’s kind. I have no idea. Here’s what I do know: HE’S TIMID.
Timid is always a turn-off. To just about every woman I know. And timid guys (and gals) will finish last. Almost always. And, frequently, nice guys are timid. Not always. Some nice (or kind, I’m not going to get into that again) men are not timid. They are strong-willed and perfectly capable of speaking up for themselves. FWIW, I think of my dad this way. He is often described by old friends of mine as “the nicest guy”. He is also notorious for driving waitstaff crazy because he has no problem with sending things back if they’re not right or asking if they can somehow, magically, make the room warmer or colder.
In general, I think many (maybe even most) of the women I know want someone who is kind and considerate and good. What they/we don’t want is a guy who is timid.
It’s the timid guys who finish last.
Tags: bar, nice guy, work