More Bad Timing
So last week I got an email from a guy I met a few years ago. We’d met, had one date and nothing ever came of it. I don’t remember much, but I guess I liked him well enough (told him I’d see him again) and then he started seeing someone else (? seriously, I’m hazy on the details).
So anyway, I get an email from this guy with his picture attached (to jog my memory, I assume, or else to remind me how handsome he is which is just ick). And he tells me we went out, once, a few years ago and he still recalls that date fondly. But that he really wasn’t free to date then. But now he is and he wants to know if I’m single. And would I like to go out with him.
So, I can look at this in a few different ways: 1) The guy shouldn’t have gone out with me back then, if he wasn’t free to date. 2) Maybe this is an awesome thing. I mean, he remembers me after all of this time. That’s gotta mean something. 3) I am not really dateable right now. My life is kinda a mess and will be for another week/few weeks until I get past some life and work stuff.
My instinct is almost always to try and say yes. To be open to possibilities and see what happens. But in this case, I’m leaning towards no. Not because of anything specific. Just because. And if I end up regretting it… Then I guess I can always send him an email sometime in the future and ask him for another chance.
Tags: date, email, guy, memory, timing
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Why not write back and table it? Tell him the next month is pretty busy, and if it works out you have time to connect after these few weeks, you’ll email him. That gives you time to mull it over but still leaves you with an “out” for not contacting him…just an idea anyway!
It’s not a bad idea. I’ll have to think about it.
#1 is IMO irrelevant. Your punishing him now for something that maybe-possibly-but-not-sure happened a few years ago. #2 or 3 are both fine, but if you tell him #3 he’ll assume you’re politely rejecting him. Kind of like “I’m washing my hair that night.”
I don’t know why you say “ick” about the photo given how much you and others complain about out-of-date photos on online sites.
What an odd (yes, I mean odd) way of thinking. I’m not punishing him. I don’t even know him. I am using the limited information I have to attempt to make a judgement about how it might be best to act in this situation.
I’d do it, at least to see what’s where.
That is pretty much always my policy. And yet, in this case, I’m not feeling it.
Weird. A few months I could see, but a few years?!? Do whatever you want but something sounds fishy here.
That’s what my instinct is kinda telling me. I mean, it’s not that hard to keep someone on an online dating hotlist for a few years (I’ve done it). But he sent me an email to my regular email address.
I agree with lifebegins. I’ve gotten the few-months-later-and-I-want-a-second-chance e-mail, but a few YEARS? From someone you’ve met once? Definitely weird, and if I were you I’d run the other way. Then again, I am a sucker for blog fodder so, win-win, I guess?
Yeah, not so much. I have a policy against going on any date just for the purpose of having something to write about. So not that.
I was all for saying yes…until your last sentence LMAO…I love a girl with a plan. Go ahead and say no and work your shit out first
I think you should tell him that now is a bad time, but maybe in a few months you guys can get together. Then there is much less pressure on you, and it’s not a flat out no. But, I’m also really bad at saying no.