Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien

A couple of people, upon reading People Change, commented that at least I wouldn’t have any regrets. And that’s for sure.  I’ll never wonder what happened to that ex.  What might have been. Nor will he.

And that’s pretty much the way I tend to live my life, when it comes to relationships. Pursuing every option. Exploring every metaphorical dark hallway.  Because I’d rather know. Need to know.

Not that this is necessarily a good thing.

Anyway, I was thinking about the whole, “no regrets” thing (hence my lil Edith Piaf tribute) and I started to think of an old friend from college. I very distinctly recall her saying (on more than one occasion) that she’d, “rather regret the things I’ve done than the things I haven’t.” We, her , would tease her that this meant, ‘that she’d rather regret the men she did, than the men she didn’t do.’

But, really, she didn’t need an excuse to be a slut. People should do who they want to do, no explanations needed.  Looking back now, though, I gotta wonder. Maybe, for her, it really was about not wanting to miss out on anything or anyone.  Not looking back on her youth and wishing she’d had more, um, fun.  Who knows.

As for me, I know, on a rational level, that it’s probably better in the long run to stop making the same mistakes, over and over. To end things cleanly, to not give so many second (3rd, 5th) chances to long-dead relationships. To let go of the past without actually having to try one last time, but instead just let go because I figured it out long ago.

Who knows, maybe 40 is my year?

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