Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

Purity Test (a poll)

So, here’s something I haven’t mentioned because it’s just kind of embarrassing (to whom, I’m not exactly sure) – one of the reasons I tired of the situation with The Sunday Boy was because the just wasn’t all that good (for me).  And that that had quite a bit to do (I’m guessing) with levels of experience.

Tangential (funny?) story – I got some swag at Blogher from Eden Fantasys and showed him my goodie bag thinking he might like to take my new toys for a test run. He was, um, unclear as to how certain objects might be utilized.

You see, I’m one of those women/people who has no interest in teaching her partner anything. Ever.  It’s just not my thing.  I understand that some people really enjoy that, but not me.

Anyway, a long while ago I did a poll that was kinda related to this (I called that after those funny purity tests that we used to take back in the dark ages (aka, high school) and I thought it would be cool to get some new opinions on the topic.

Does your partner’s sexual history matter to you (not for health reasons, but for reasons of compatibility)?

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13 to “Purity Test (a poll)”


  1. As long as I don’t have to break in a virgin (waaaaay too old for that shiz), I’m cool with whatever his level is. Although I’m always secretly hoping to hook up with a total sexual jedi with a strong kink portfolio. It’d be an awesome learning experience.

  2. It matters in the sense that like you I want to be with someone who knows what they are doing.

    I’m good with saying what I like or don’t like and I like being told what someone likes and doesn’t like. But I don’t want to teach.

    On the other hand, this dry spell I’m having is so long that I’m not sure I have any right to have this position. LOL.

  3. TurnJacson says:

    I think it totally matter…

    If you’re inexperienced or a virgin and you hook up with someone who is very experienced. The experienced party is going to do most of the heavy lifting and there will be no surprises for them. Their virgin/inexperienced partner isn’t go to spring up a new move out of now where that you haven’t seen before… and if they did, you’d probably wonder where they learned that.

    Conversely the less experienced party isn’t going to ever feel in control in the bedroom… and that’s a fun and good feeling to have. They might never feel like a sexual equal. Just like in the rest of the relationship, there needs to be a healthy balance in the bedroom.

    Sexual Chemistry is at its best when there is a “give and take” a “push and pull”… it gets tiresome if it’s always one-sided

  4. Dee says:

    i don’t think it would bother me if there was so much of an experience difference and i like to think my partner wouldn’t be bothered either because my whole level of experience is guaranteed to be lower than his haha… but i’m surprised by the results of the poll, it seems like a lot of being genuinely don’t care.. i would think a lot of people would? mmm very interesting

    dee

  5. Black Iris says:

    I went with other because I think it would matter to me, but it wouldn’t be an absolute deal-breaker either.

  6. Tricia says:

    It totally depends on the guy… too experienced and the chemistry’s not right, and I feel like a total failure. Though this is my issue and not his…

    Same experience and the right chemistry? Let’s explore together. I don’t feel so uncomfortable suggesting certain things.

    Virgin? Well, at my age (27), don’t expect to encounter this, but I guess if I did, and the chemistry was there, I’d workt with it. If he was so self-conscious as to effect his performance, it would probably matter a lot. And not end in a good way for him.

  7. Terry says:

    A virgin is what my son is at age 2 months – and will be until about age 16 – but sometime auntie SG and he will talk about life (what do you mean thats my job?)

  8. Sandyvs says:

    TurnJacson, I have to completely disagree with your ideas/reasoning on this topic, with the simple explanation of ‘experience’.
    I had a relationship with a guy that had been in a ‘cold’ marriage for over 22 years. Before we actually ‘got together’, he said, “Sandy, what seems to me like wild sex is what YOU do all the time”. So, after many months, when we finally did have sex, it was like a child was unleashed in a candy store after 20 years. He wanted and asked for and tried so many things, that it was like I was experiencing these things for the first time. It was really, mutually great sex which we both totally enjoyed. Sometimes, I was the teacher, or initiator, and sometimes he had some ideas that I’d never even thought of, especially the little things that really turned him on. This one experience made me realize that all men are very unique in the things that turn them on sexually, or they enjoy. I may have learned even more than he did.

  9. Aplus says:

    I am quite surprised by the results of the poll, lol.

  10. @femmmefatal says:

    I cant say that it “matters”. The fact is that it wouldn’t change my feelings for him. But, I am nosy and I’m definitely interested in knowing it…:) If he was a cl sex worker I would probably care.

  11. Pheromones says:

    I got to admit, if I found myself at a ladies pad for the first time, and then she suddenly whipped out a big ole TOY BOX, I’d probably run like hell! As I was fleeing I would be thinking of all the various STD’s floating around out there in the city these days…However, baring such an extreme example, I would be totally ok with a partner regardless of level of experience if I truly had any “real” feelings for her! Crazy me, but life has gotta be about more than just the sexual act….I hope??

  12. kitten says:

    i like the boy to be in control.
    he has to know his role.
    experience not important.
    during sex i’m often asked
    “are you a virgin ?!”

    i feel like a virgin each time,
    with each different boy..
    i am shy♥