Real stories about dating and relationships in New York City. Truth is more interesting than fiction.

What Do You Find Attractive in a Man/Woman?

What Do You Find Attractive in a Man/Woman? dating polls  It’s official -> I’m odd.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, no surprise there. I’m odd and in more ways than I can probably count.  Here’s today’s example: I was walking with a couple of female friends when they both slowed down to notice a guy a few yards away.  A guy they both thought was very attractive.

I neither noticed him, nor when they pointed him out, thought he was all that.

He was tall and beefy and had what I would describe as a perma-scowl. To them, I think he came off as brooding or maybe pensive. Whatever.

It’s not so much that he wasn’t my type. Although, I’m pretty much never attracted to guys who are more than a foot taller than me. It’s a thing. Rather, there was nothing about him that I found attractive. He was wearing casual, designer clothes with a brand name flashed across his chest (something that tends to repel me). He had gobs of product in his hair (WHY?) and he wasn’t smiling.

Now, I’m not sure if this makes sense, but his lack of a was what made me NOT notice him.  Aside from the clothes, ridiculous hair product and the fact that he’d crush me like a fly, the guy would be considered hot by most objective observers. But I wouldn’t have noticed him or his hotness because he wasn’t smiling.  And the first thing I notice about a guy is his .

Which leads me to today’s topic… We’re all different in the way we perceive the opposite (or our own if that’s who we’re attracted to).  Some of us focus on smiles, others eyes, and some go for other features like boobs or legs.  I thought it would be cool to ask about your preferences. There’s no right or wrong here, no judgment.  Just curiosity. I’m asking this in 2 questions, feel free to answer both if you’re sexually attracted to both men and women.

What do you find attractive in a ?

View Results

What Do You Find Attractive in a Man/Woman? dating polls  loading Loading ...

What do you find attractive in a woman?

View Results

What Do You Find Attractive in a Man/Woman? dating polls  loading Loading ...


Tags: , , , ,

16 to “What Do You Find Attractive in a Man/Woman?”


  1. I would have been left just as cold by that guy as you were. Although reading it rather irresistibly reminded me of this comic about Dude-Watchin’ With The Brontes.

  2. Devin says:

    Hair. Long, straight and well groomed. Also, personality in the way they look — it doesn’t have to be designer, but a sense of self-importance. Nothing is less attractive than a women in a sweatshirt and baggy sweats.

  3. rato.lets says:

    I tend to only find people physically attractive once I get to know who they are.I’ve only ever once been attracted to someone physically right from the get go, and even then I couldn’t tell you what it was that attracted me to them.

  4. SemiAnon says:

    It’s a series. First thing I notice is usually ass or legs, or general body type; then hair or smile, depending on which way they’re facing. And as Devin says, how they present themselves physically is also important. And that’s just attention-getting; long-term physical attraction is conditioned on finding them intellectually attractive.

  5. This was too hard!!! It depends on the guy. Smile, eyes, and shoulders draw me most. Ass helps but that’s usually a later stage discovery ;-)

  6. I’m all about masculinity, a combination of broad, strong shoulders and a chisled jawline. I would diiieee for a chisled jawline! :)

  7. Jeff says:

    There’s nothing sexier than a woman who presents herself very well –physically in terms of how she dresses and how she carries herself during conversation.

  8. healy says:

    What i find attractive is his hands, his smile and his eyes:):) Of course he should have a good amount of sense of humor and common sense. I like a guy who is intelligent and still humble. What turns me off is if they brag about how much money they make!! That’s a turn off for me:)

  9. Beth says:

    I notice the way a man walks. There is just something alluring about a man who walks with intention. You can tell that a man is confident in himself (or not) before he opens his mouth.

  10. Kelly says:

    I definitely look at the eyes. They reveal things that a smile doesn’t, in my opinion.

  11. Aplus says:

    I find the personality attractive, and the body of course…

  12. Black Iris says:

    I notice hair and facial hair.

  13. Tomfoolery says:

    On a lady? Practically everything. I love symmetry, I think, except when there’s a dramatic asymmetry. I like narrow, sculpted eye-brows, except when her color doesn’t work for it. I like big, broad smiles except when her lips are better for small, wry smiles. I like big chests except when they dwarf a small frame. I like round bottoms except when she doesn’t have the thighs or hips for it (bubble butt). I like long hair except when it’s inconvenient. I like flat bellies except when it makes her look too hard. I like deep, soulful eyes except when rest of her face is an open book. I like almost everything on a lady as long as it goes with the rest… except when the clash is irresistibly attractive.

  14. LadyD says:

    You’re not weird; I’ll take Adrien Brody ANY DAY over Brad Pitt or George Clooney . . . And Clive Owen beats all of them, ANY DAY!

  15. Frank says:

    I did chose legs, but if I was able to chose two I would’ve chosen other as well. Other as nails. They don’t necessarily need to have nail polish on them as long as they are clean cut and clean. Dirt under nails repels me like crazy!

  16. Kareem says:

    It’s the eyes for me, with women. If your eyes are striking and engaging, I’m hooked.