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Should She Stay or Should She Go?

Actually, I think she should do whatever the hell she wants. I just love an excuse to sneak in some Clash (see video below).

The she in question is Michelle Rhee, DC Public Schools Chancellor.  Yesterday, I read this great post that Feministing did on her engagement to Kevin Johnson, the Mayor of Sacramento, Long-distance relationships and gendered expectations. Most people’s reactions, upon hearing about their engagement, is to assume that she will give up her position in DC and move to Sacramento if Johnson wins reelection.

Which, I gotta admit, was my reaction, too. Yep, I just assumed that the woman would drop her life and move for the guy. Because that’s the way it usually is.

But Rhee has other ideas.  She has no intention of leaving her position in DC, and is offended that people assume she will. Which I think is kind of awesome.  They’re 2 obviously smart and energetic people. I’m sure they can find a way to make it work.

So anyway, this week’s is not about what she should do (that’s none of our damn business).  Rather, less specifically:

Would you expect a woman to relocate for the sake of her relationship (and NOT the man)?

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10 to “Should She Stay or Should She Go?”


  1. TurnJacson says:

    Totally based on who is more established… If I cared about someone and they had a stronger career than I did. I’d totally move!

  2. IntrigueMe says:

    I voted “it depends” but I think that a big factor in my moving would be “is he WILLING to move as well” or does he expect me to? If we’re both willing to make the sacrifice, then let’s go with the logical move based on who’s more established, etc. I would never move for a guy who wasn’t willing to move for me, if that’s what it came down to.

  3. Flowersky says:

    If i were to be asked this question in my early twenties when i was still gung ho and trying to make my way, i would not have compromised for anyone. A few years on, having made it and having spent a little too much on work and a little less on relationships i would happily relocate because 1. I’m established and could make it anywhere, 2. I feel ready to make comromises in life for the sake of a relationship because its important to me 3. I would think the guy a wuss the other way around (I hate to say this but its just the honest truth) and 4. I’d love to put my feet up, have a little holiday on someone else’s account and slowly get back on my feet!

  4. @lena_fm says:

    Um. Now that I think about it, guys have moved for me. Does it make me awesome or inconsiderate? :)

  5. Mhlia says:

    My (now) husband and I dated long distance for awhile. Then he moved to be with me (I made more $, was in grad school, he found a great job in my area, etc). We now just moved again, but for him this time… I was the “trailing spouse” – a phrase I hate. But, we love each other and we compromise. It works for us.

  6. Aplus says:

    I think it’s about where you are in your relationship, weighing in on the pro’s and con’s. If that does not work you can always try the compromise talk.

  7. Black Iris says:

    I don’t think it should be just based on who has the more established career and more money. It shouldn’t be by gender, either. I do think that sooner or later, one person has to move for things to last.