The thing is, I have a stake in this fight. But I try (TRY) to keep my temper in check and keep this blog from turning into a battlefield.
All that said (and I’m not sure a damn bit of it made any sense) I’ll just cut to the chase. I was delighted to see the posts in Broadsheet and Jezebel about the new research related to hookups. It turns out, SURPRISE, we women aren’t such delicate creatures, after all. We’re perfectly capable of having casual sex and then, at some later time, having perfectly happy LTRs. Those of us who have casual sex aren’t destroying our chances of long-term relationships, or so says the latest research. Well, that’s a relief (because I totally believed all of those people who were telling me otherwise).
Perhaps the best thing (or most amusing) I read about this this week was in the comments section at Jezebel
Once, my younger sister (she’s 16) found out that I was hooking up with a friend of mine. “Yes, we’re hooking up…No, we’re not in a committed relationship.” Horror of horrors, right? (To be fair, I would have reacted similiarly at 16, I bet. There’s room for a lot of growth.)
Then she said to me, “He’s not going to buy the cow if he can get the milk for free.”
And I looked at her very seriously and said, “[insert her name here], why would I want anyone to buy me?” Like, what is this, the year 1350? Or the black market sex trade? Sheesh, what kind of analogy is that – comparing women to cows
So much of the discourse about women and sex is this bizarre connection. That our worth, to men, is sex. And that we are more valuable when we withhold it. And that somehow, ALL WOMEN have internalized this societal belief and so our self-worth is also pegged to the withholding of sex. Or should be. Or some such nonsense.
Anyway, I could go on for thousands of words. I won’t, because this is so not the right forum. And I’ve probably already said too much…
Tags: Broadsheet, casual sex, jezebel, LTR, research, sex