I’m trying to get better about using Facebook. I know that there are many (strange) people who actually prefer it to twitter, or who don’t (gasp) use twitter. For those of you who don’t know, I’m a twitterholic. I came late to FB. In fact, I started to use it about a year after I got on twitter. Yeah, I’m so weird.
Anyway, last week I posted a link to something on MSN (that originally appeared in Glamour): 23 Things Single Women Wish We Could Tell Men. My fb update mentioned 2 of my faves, #9 “Texting a girl twice a week does not count as staying in contact. It’s meaningless and a waste of everyone’s time. Let her go.” And #22 “Taking us for granted is probably the worst thing you could do after cheating and lying. Since women are very good at appreciating each other, your behavior looks kinda selfish to us.”
I can’t remember what brought me to read it in the first place. I usually don’t read these things. Lists. Someone must have tweeted it or linked to it. Anyway, I read it and found a few nice points and so I posted it to my fb page (which is different than the blog’s fb page).
This led to an interesting discussion between me and a couple of my male FB friends/readers. First off, I guess there was a misunderstanding. They, maybe, thought that this was some kind of list of things I want a guy to understand/know. Or, god forbid, my ‘must-haves’ (can you imagine someone with a list of 23 things their future mate MUST HAVE?!). Which is not at all what I thought/meant. I couldn’t imagine saying any of those things to a guy. Or meeting a man who magically GOT it.
The way I see it, men and women are different. Physically, emotionally, mentally. And we see the world in very different ways. I know, from experience, that lots of guys don’t fully comprehend the idea of taking a person for granted. Then again, neither do some women.
I see posts like that as a form of venting. We girls, talking amongst ourselves (while knowing full well that the boys might be listening) about things we wish were different. Because honestly, as much as I like guys, my life would be a heck of a lot easier if we worked from the same rule book.
So… Getting back to that fb conversation, here’s where it got interesting:
“…as much as one can generalize about these things, I’ve always found that love to women is being understood (and by extension living up to their personalized list) and love to men is being accepted as they are (including not having to live up to some list)…and in that lies the rub.” said by a very smart man, but I’m not sure I agree with him.
Do men and women really view love in such extremely different ways? And do I, as a human being (forget gender), have to choose between being understood and accepted? Can’t I be both? Because honestly, if I had to choose between the two, I’d rather be accepted. Maybe that’s why I have so many guy friends? Hmmm.
Tags: facebook, links, single women, Twitter