But first, just to state the obvious, I’m a woman. A heterosexual woman. And so my dating and relationship experiences are all with guys.
So when I tell a story (and talk unfavorably about a specific thing some guy did), I am not implying that only men are guilty of a type of behavior. And that women are innocent of said behavior.
I mention this because, invariably, there is someone who gets offended (whenever I mention the misdeeds of the men of my past) and accuses me of man-bashing. And someone else who points out that women are just as bad, or worse.
Think people. These are my personal stories. Mine. Sundays are for the guys.
Now the thing is, I usually can’t spot the lies or the liars. Sure, some are obvious. The person who forgets what they told you and changes the story. The guy who tells you he just moved back to New York after 2 decades working in LA, but claims he’s only 35. Those are bad liars.
But let’s be honest here, the world is full of really good liars. REALLY. GOOD. LIARS.
So I get kind of annoyed (at myself, too) when we all play the blame game. You should have know. There must have been signs. How could you have missed it?
I think this is about control, and our constant need to believe that we can control everything (this is coming from a complete control freak, btw). If we believe that we can spot all of the lies and the liars, then we are in control. When in fact, we’re not in control. And the world is full of really good liars, who can and will hurt us. The world is also really full of awesome, lovely people. We just don’t always know who is who, from the start.
Do I have a point? Gosh, I don’t know. It’s Friday and I’m tired. How about I leave you with this – years ago I worked with a bunch of guys. And one day( night actually) I was down in the dumps and one of the guys asked me what was wrong and so I told him that I’d dumped my boyfriend the day before. I’d caught him in a big lie (again). His reply (I was in my mid 30s and he was in his mid 40s) was that women needed to learn that all men lied, all of the time. And then he made some stupid joke about knowing a man was lying if his lips moved. Followed up by saying that his ex-wives never understood, either. None of which made any sense to me. But it’s what I think of every time I think of lying men. Note: I do not think that men lie more than women, and academic studies prove that men do not lie more than women.
Tags: liar, relationship